Post # 1
My SO has never really been the traditional romantic, and it’s never really bothered me until recently.
I used to describe myself as a hopeless romantic: flowers, love poems, soppy songs and films but my ex totally ruined it for me – he took “romance” to a whole new level, and it became creepy.
Don’t get me wrong, SO is extremely sweet and romantic in his own way; he’s so thoughtful and he clearly knows me inside out. But… I guess I want to be whisked off my feet.
I don’t know if it’s spending time on here, knowing that marriage is on its way or watching other peoples relationships. It may just be that we’ve been so busy for the little things, that I’m now longing for the big gestures.
Please don’t think I’m complaining, I’m not. Just feeling a bit bleh today. I’m sure it’ll pass…
Anyone else ever feel like this?
Post # 3
Yup I do. All the time. But like someone once told me. We love them for a reason right?
Post # 4
@ladyartichoke: I do feel like this at times, but then Fiance goes and surprises me somehow. IE: last night he was playing his video game, barely spoke to me, and then went to bed because he was tired. I didn’t feel much of a connection, but I didn’t say anything.
Anyways, this morning he sent me a sweet text reminding me that he loves me and I am his world.
It does suck at times. I too wish he could be a bit more romantic, but none of us are perfect. I am sure I need to work on some things as well.
Post # 5
Set him up for success– take him out to dinner, go on a carriage ride together, go look at the stars. Yes, it’d be best if he set these up as a magical surprise outing for you, but if you get in the habit of doing romantic things together, it’ll bring out the romantic in him– who can’t say lovely things when wrapped up in a carriage together? If you get into a habit of going out every other week, maybe he’ll start thinking of things to do in the future!
Post # 6
@IreneG: Indeed we do 🙂
@Rouquine: Me too, I’m sure I have a lot more faults!
@bookworm88: I think getting him into the habit will be good for both of us 🙂
Thank you bees for your responce. It’ nice to hear you’re not alone once in a while 🙂
Post # 7
Yeah, I have a similar situation. But I just try to accept him for what he is and if it gets too bad, I ask him to do something for me.
Post # 8
You’re not alone. My guy would like to be romantic but he’s busy forgetful and we have very romance- disparaging senses of humor. 🙂 Every once in a while I get desperate though so whenever I feel the urge to be whisked off my feet I tell him. It’s usually very silly though. 🙂 I’ll straight up tell him, “No, you can’t do that. I need to be wooed.” “Court me!” We both get good laughs out of it and he usually does something sweet right on the spot. It’s cute. And funny.
Maybe try that out? See if it works for you guys?
Post # 9
My husband does a pretty good job at “romancing” me – he has really surprised me at times!
BUT, this was by me dropping multiple hints and telling him the kinds of surprises and ways that I enjoy being loved. Its about communication, there is nothing wrong with flat out telling your SO what you want & how you feel loved; and often times men prefer to just know what what you find romantic, rather then guess. 😉
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
I feel like this a lot! I’ve gotten flowers a grand total of once, and though he is wonderful and great to me, he just really doesn’t do the whole “romance” thing. When I read about other people talking about how great their SO is, I often will think they are trying hard to look like their relationship is perfect and great, when in reality I’m sure they have issues, ones that I might not. And don’t get me started on PDA, I feel bad for thinking it, but now I just think couples who are always over-the-top with PDA are not secure in their relationship, whereas I am pretty secure and so no a PDA person… I don’t know if that makes sense, but it really helps me not worry so much about not getting swept off my feet, since I’m lucky enough to have a relationship that doesn’t depend on it, even if it would be nice once in awhile.
Post # 11
I know how you feel. My Fiance has never done the slightest romantic thing in our relationship. Whenever I mention it to him, he gets upset and swears he tries, but, he really doesn’t. He thinks that “being here” is all I should need from him.
Post # 12
The only time he ever gave me a flower was on our one year anniversary. He said something he shouldn’t have while I was getting ready to go out to dinner. I was stressing out about my makeup and my clothes and said at that rate we might as well not even bother and he said “good, I’ll save some money.” I slammed the bathroom door in his face, and my mom grabbed a rose out of the bouquet my dad gave her for THEIR anniversary and told him to hurry and give it to me.
That’s about as romantic as it has ever been.
Post # 13
@reine_de_rien: yep thats sounds like my Fiance too.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
That’s sad 🙁 There must be little things they do to be romantic their own way. For instance, I NEVER get flowers or candlelit dinners, but Fiance makes me drinks, fills the tub for me, makes up silly little songs about how much he loves me, and gives me random neck/backrubs. That’s his way of being romantic– no huge gestures. What kinds of things do your men do?