Looking Back Now, Was It Worth It? For 1 Day?

posted 3 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ehh… I wish we could just taken the money and had a small wedding instead of 250 people. But I hade a great time, the day just flew past and I dont think I enjoyed it as much as I should for the amount of money spent. I was exhausted even though it wasn’t a DIY wedding.

Post # 4
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We had a 220 person wedding, and honestly i hardly remember getting to talk to anyone. And i find the stress and fights with family werent worth it.  Wish we had eloped and had a bbq instead

 

Post # 5
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@fabange:  Well, I can’t say in hindsight for another 10 days, but I’ve had very little of any of what you describe, so I already know it was worth it. Yes, with what we’ve spent we could have taken a couple of extra vacations, but I don’t have enough vacation time for that anyway, and we already go away 1-3 times a year.

I’m lucky it’s been a relatively stress free time, absolutely zero family or wedding party drama, Fi and I are a little harried, but not fighting at all, I had no weight concerns, and we won’t be in debt to pay for it.  I very much have a “I don’t give a shit” attitude about many of the details, and son’t micromanaged any of my vendors.

My MIL, who almost died this summer, is over the moon excited, as is my mother (I’m an only child) so that makes it all worth it to me over eloping.

Post # 7
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@fabange:  I had a small 50 person lunch wedding at a restaurant with an outdoor patio. It was totally worth it! I was able to spend time with everyone at the reception (and hung out at an Irish bar later in the evening). The DIY was time consuming and stressful, but totally worth it because I loved the end result. Maybe no one else noticed, but I did and that’s what matters.

 

If you are doing this for external praise, you will be miserable. No one will notice 90% of what you did and if one thing goes wrong–everyone will complain. But if you are doing it to make yourself happy (and I’m assuming that being a good host is one of your goals–and again being a good host does not mean making 100% of the people happy 100% of the time), then it will all be worth it in the end.

PS- I love looking at the photo albums (professional one and one I made at AdoramaPix that included the rehersal dinner and honeymoon) and see all the happiness and love. 

Post # 8
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@fabange:  The day was lovely but people’s expectations were not. Still, I am torn as to whether I would do it again or whether I would take that money and have a weddingmoon. We sacrificed our honeymoon in order to provide a sit down dinner, and I would seriously have just loved apps, cake, and punch shortly after the reception. I can’t decide. 

Post # 9
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

TBH, I still have a month to go…but I’m going to say YES.  Sometimes I do think “We could buy a house with this money…”  but in the end, I’m happy I get to celebrate with loved ones and we will have those memories and photos forever.  🙂  I think if I wasn’t doing a formal wedding, I’d always wish I had or wondered what it would be like.

Post # 10
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My current joke is that every bride wants a big wedding until she’s a couple weeks away, then she wishes she could go back and just elope!  However, I think it’s a right of passage (of sorts) and being 2 weeks away, I can’t wait!  I don’t care that we are using $25,000 for a barely 6 hour ordeal…. it’s 6 hours I’ll never get to have again and I’ll be enjoying each one of them.

Post # 11
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@fridaythe13bride:  Love your attitude at two weeks away like you, and with the final payments all coming in….im exactly in that place. But also cant wait and like

@SeaSalt:  we are not too bothered about the details so have not micro managed anything. Just wish the last bits we do have to confirm could be done so that we can enjoy the last couple of weeks of being engaged without too much hassell.

Post # 12
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LilLis:  Yes only 2 more weeks of being a fiance and having a fiance!  Bittersweet I guess!  Let’s enjoy it while we can 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@LilLis:  LIfe really threw us a curve ball this year–we discovered bed bugs in February, lived for 3 anxious and sleepless months out of plastic bags and totes, my FFIL died unexpectedly at Easter, we had to apartment hunt, move and buy all new furniture in April and May, my MIL had open heart surgery just after mother’s day with unexpected complications which saw her having 2 additional surgeries and spending 5 weeks intubated in the ICU and almost dying, i was overwhelmed at work and between work and the personal crap, my mental health took a serious nose dive that almost saw me hospitalized.

 

All that to say that I’ve only resumed planning for our wedding in mid-July (I wanted to postpone it in February when shit started hitting the fan, but FI didn’t want to do that).  I literally found a cake yesterday, and still don’t have music for my ceremony. I would like to have a few weeks of peace before the wedding as well, like you, but everything is so compressed that it just won’t happen.  But again, I’m not sweating the details at all. What happens happens and in some ways I’m glad it’s worked out this way because I read so many girls getting so wound up about things no one will even notice or care about that they can’t enjoy either the process, or the event, at all.

 

That we’ve managed to pull off a wedding this year at all is a small miracle, and I know our friends and family will be so happy that we have something to celebrate after a horrendous year that they really won’t care that our card box isn’t a one of a kind creation. 

 

Post # 14
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You know, we went a bit off budget for our wedding, and we went through a really rough year with immigration, work stress, and the death of a relative. While in hindsight I wish I wouldn’t have spent a few dollars on this or that (which prob. would have added up!) in the end, I wouldn’t have changed anything for the world. It was the perfect day, everyone we loved flew in from around the world to be with us, and it was totally worth it. 

Post # 15
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

yes and no. I have wonderful memories of our wedding but Everytime I think how much it cost I have regrets on certain decisions we made. I was too laid back and hell bent on not being a Bridezilla. There were times I probably should’ve put my foot down with certain vendors. oh well:)

Post # 16
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

No because I 100% wanted to elope anyway. MIL had a party and we just happened to get married at the beginning of it. Yup, I still resent MIL and DH for giving in to her.

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