(Closed) Looking for advice, how to “cut the apron strings”?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If this idea doesnt come from your Future Mother-In-Law, then I’m not sure how she will feel about it being forced on her. Or, wait, I’m confused. Are you wanting your FH to be the one to do something like that? If so, I don’t think some formal ceremony is the way to go. I think he needs to just balls up and stop letting her be manipulative/controlling/whatever. She will probably NEVER change on her own, and if FH doesnt do something, then nothing is going to change.

Post # 4
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@red_rose:  Agreed!

@aes005:  The apron cutting ceremony described here sounds both tasteful and touching, but I believe the sweetest part about it was the fact that the Future Mother-In-Law resolved to do this herself.  You bringing this up to your Future Mother-In-Law might be insulting to her.  The only thing to do might just be to talk to Fiance about being a bit less of a momma’s boy, but tread lightly.  My uncle’s marriage was always in shambles over this very thing (he’s a momma’s boy & his wife hates it & in turn started hating my grandma, who now hates the wife. . . Oh the drama!).

Post # 7
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No matter what you do in the ceremony, it won’t “fix” the issue – your Fiance has to take active steps in day-to-day life. Words in a ceremony won’t make a switch flip for your Future Mother-In-Law.

That said, if you’re still looking for words, my aunt gave my grandma a crosstitch that said:

You’ve given me a gracious manwith whom to share my life;You are his lovely mother, I am his lucky wife.You used to pat his little head,and now I hold his hand,You raised in love a little boy,and then gave to me a man.

Post # 8
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with ladybear. Your Fiance will have to fix the problem and it will take time. He wil have to repeat steps he has taken to sort of pull away from her again and again. He will have to communicate with her to make this happen.

Post # 9
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LadyBear:  +1

Post # 10
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with PPs that in this case, I don’t think a gift, a Bible verse, or a ceremony is going to change a thing.  Would your Fiance even be on board with that? After all, it might hurt Mom’s feelings.

I think what you need to do here is have a serious discussion with your Fiance about his relationship with his mom, and in placing and keeping boundries.  Rather than doing this symbolically, I think your Fiance needs to do this with word and deed.  Most importantly, you BOTH need to be on the same page, and BOTH need to agree that he will enforce these boundries.  No more cancelling plans with YOUR parents because his mom is coming over.

Also, does she have a spouse and/or other children?  From what you’ve described, it sounds like she’s alone.

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