Post # 1
I originally asked my step-mother if my two half sisters could be in my wedding. She accepted enthusiastically. When all of the BMs went to get measured for their dresses, she said nothing and put down a deposit. Months after she placed her order she started to complain about how expensive the dresses are. The dresses are in and apparently the shop person measured the girls incorrectly and now their dresses are too big. She said they haven’t changed at all, which I believe her. They want to charge her additional alteration fees. I’m not sure what to do with her or the whole dress situation. I personally think she should fight tooth and nail over the alteration fees, since they are multiplied by two. On the one hand, I understand that she is a single mother and she would have two dresses to pay for, but at the same time she should have said something initially. I’m also not sure if I should take it upon myself to call the dress store. I feel like now this has become my problem and I have too much stuff to worry about. Besides the dresses, she is also complaining about hotel costs too. Can you believe she told my mother that she thought the bride was suppose to cover the cost of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses? Can you imagine?
Any realistic suggestions on how to handle this??
Post # 3
I would call the store for her, just to smooth things over and if not maybe cover the alteration fees?
I understand that she might have thought the bride was suppose to cover the cost of the bridesmaid dresses because there are some brides that do that.
And as you said she is a single mother supporting two girls, and being in a wedding can be very draining.
Post # 4
I definitely did the price bargaining for my girls. I thought it was the least I could do since they were purchasing the dresses for my wedding. I’ll also help them with alteration bargaining or finding a cheaper seamstress if they need it.
Realistically, I don’t know if there is much you can do about what size was ordered, because I and my girls had to sign that we knew we were ordering a specific size. I’m guessing your girls did too. You could try to find a cheaper seamstess elsewhere. Most bridal shops aren’t a bargain.
It’s a tough situation. Don’t let it get to you. Just do the best you can.
Post # 5
She probably didn’t want to talk about the money or didn’t realize how much it was going to cost until it was too late. It can be a difficult situation when you want to support someone you care about on their big day but you don’t realize how many costs are associated with it or it’s hard to come out and say “I want them to be in your wedding but as a single mom I really can’t afford the dresses.” I say do what you can to help the situation and try not to have any hard feelings about it. Money is always a tough!
Post # 6
I would see if you could find an independant seamstress who would be half the cost to fix them.
I’d also have them remeasured and see if they fit the next smaller size.. if they do, I’d tell the dress shop to re-order, since they messed up the measuring..
Post # 7
I would definitely call and do the talking and what not, and if you have the money to pay for the rest of the dresses, do it- It’s not worth the heartache or the potential conflict between the two of you. I wouldn’t get upset about the situation if you can help it- it’s just not worth it.
Post # 8
If she’s your step mother isn’t she married to one of your parents? Could you ask the parent who is married to her to smooth things over and help alleviate the cost? If it’s a huge deal I might just foot the bill for alterations. It shouldn’t be more than 40-50 dollar/dress I would think.
Post # 9
I agree – I would both a) offer to pay the cost of the alterations, if you can afford it, and b) get them done by an independent seamstress. I’m sure you can find a good one in NYC! I had my Justin Alexander gown tailored by an independent seamstress here in D.C., and it was much less expensive than if I had the bridal salon do it, and the alterations were perfect.
Post # 10
She was married to my father, but have been divorced for several years now. My father isn’t even helping me for my wedding, so I’m going to assume that he won’t help them either.
She said additional alterations will be another $100 per dress. I’m going to call the store and see if I can smooth things over. If that doesn’t work I’ll search for a cheaper alternative, and if still that doesn’t work I’ll foot the bill. It’s hard because my Fiance thinks she trys to take advantage of me all of the time. If he knew I was doing this he would be furious. I don’t know if I have any other choice.
Thanks for your support!