Post # 1
My FI took me to look at rings before he proposed and when I found a 1/2ct band i loved he just bought it (under $1.5k). Then he did the whole one knee proposal thst night It was cute how he was still shaking as if he was nervous). I had said then itd work for the wedding band as well as engagement ring because later when we have better jobs we could add a engagement style ring for a 5yr anniversary And I would always keep this first ring on as our wedding band. But our original plan also involved a tiny budget wedding (just like the ring!). Now over the past year our wedding has grown from a less than 5k budget with under 50 guests to an extravagant weekend long event with over 250 invitees (key fact= we are not paying for any of it)
Am I horrible for wishing I had chosen a real engagement ring instead of going for a 1/2ct wedding band now that our wedding budget has changed so dramatically? It just feels weird that my wedding outfits & accessories cost over 3x as much as my engagement/wedding ring when they wont even matter after the wedding, it’s the ring I’ll wear forever. I guess im just worried about judgy people at the wedding being umm whats up with the tiny wedding band when THIS is your wedding.
I’m just looking for some encouragement as I get closer to the big day so I can smile and show off my ring proudly.
(Maybe I can just distract people with the oodles of real diamond jewelry I’ll be borrowing from family to wear on the big day – omg its crazy compared to my ill band)
Post # 2
No. I don’t think it’s crazy. I’m gonna wear FSILs 3.1 carat (each) diamond earrings on my wedding day possible! My engagement ring is like .4 carats in the center! Your ring is probably beautiful and t means a lot that your FI bought it.
A family friend of ours couldn’t afford to buy his wife an engagement ring when they got engaged. She is just now getting one and she is in her 50s, as t hasn’t been a priority even though they have been successful for years! People are gonna notice less than you will notice
Post # 3
On my wedding day I wore just my band without an e-ring. No one cared about my band and no one asked about the carat weight (it’s around .30ctw I think).
Post # 4
I don’t think I would give it a second thought. You are so very lucky that you have family that will help you with your wedding plans. Wear that ring proudly, it is the true symbol of your love and marriage.
Post # 5
no your not horrible, besides even if you had an extravagant wedding paid for by someone else it wouldnt change the fact that you couldnt afford a huge engagement ring on your own. that being said, men dont like to upgrade or get a new ring later on, so you need to be clear with him that later on, you want a nicer engagement ring
Post # 6
shirl195: I feel like this depends on the man! My mom got her ring reset and my dad couldn’t care less. A family friend got a new ring after 30 years of marriage. Some men find it insulting, so embrace it
Post # 7
Just tell him! If you want a new/bigger ring just get one, they are only objects so I say go for it if you want one and can afford it!
Post # 8
I completely understand what you’re saying. It’s not YOU who thinks your ring isn’t “good enough.” You’re worried OTHER PEOPLE won’t think it’s good enough. I hate that we let other people’s opinions (or potential opinions) cloud our judgement like that but we all do it!
I love the story of how you got your ring with you both understanding that this what you wanted and could afford right now and that someday you’ll get something bigger, better etc. to add on to something already wonderful.
Honestly, no one at my wedding even asked to see my ring so I wouldn’t even worry about it. We brides place more emphasis on the rings than anyone else does and we love being complimented on them. Just be proud of your union and happy on your big day. Everything else is just accessories 🙂
Post # 9
I wouldn’t worry so much about other people’s opinions, just stick to your original plan and get a fancier ring when you have the money. Yes you will wear it forever, but that means you can also update/change it whenever you want (whereas once the wedding is done it’s too late to change any of those details). The ring is just a symbol of the amazing commitment you are making to your fiance, my MIL has one like that too, which is actually just a plain band, because they were poor when she married my FIL and she’s only looking to upgrade now! Their marriage is still one of the strongest I have ever seen 🙂
Post # 10
this is what i’d say to anyone with negative opinions: “fuck you”.
it was what you wanted, right? don’t let anyone make you rethink it.