Post # 1
Ugh, the last couple of weeks have royally sucked for me. First, my older sis supposedly had a nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized for 5 days in the psych ward after threatening suicide, she was going to drive her car into a tree or off a bridge, I say supposedly cuz it seemed to be more of a way for her to escape her problems and not really suicidal thoughts. After she was discharged it was decided, not by me, that she was going to come stay with me for an undetermined amount of time. Basically she called me up one day and asked where I was since I wasn’t home and she wanted to get in my house. I show up and she brought enough stuff you’d have thought she was moving in. I was fine with this but then her loser boyfriend started causing drama the least of which was coming over to my house and then leaving right as I was getting ready to serve dinner without saying anything and took my sister out to eat-majorly rude imo. Fast forward a couple days and he’s threatening suicide to get my sis out to see him (his plan was a noose made out of electrical cord) they break up and he won’t leave her alone but she just feeds into it by staying in contact. He makes me out to be this horrible bitch to her and whatever else…grr!!! I drove my sis around to various appointments throughout the time she was staying with me plus driving her ass around so she could do whatever. Without any sort of thank you or anything. I did her laundry, cooked her meals, and basically took care of her while she acted like a spoiled teenager without saying so much as “please” or “thank you”. Then she got mad when I refused to drive her over 2 hrs round trip so she could have a 5 minute meeting that wasn’t necessary just something she wanted. It got to the point where the stress was too much on top of finals, and work drama (my work put me on every other weekend only) that I just couldn’t deal with it anymore and she decided to leave which was fine with me. But I’m sure she wanted the drama of me begging her to stay. So I talked to her today (she’s staying with someone else this weekend) and told her in plain english that it’s not working out to have her stay here. What does she do? Makes me out to be the bad guy and hangs up on me. After I put up with her drama for two weeks and let her stay with me and my FI in our small one bedroom apartment. Plus, I found out I can’t get financial aid for next semester and need to come up with $800 within the next couple of weeks. It’s just been frustrating and stressful and I’m to the point where I can’t deal with it anymore! Sorry this was so long but I needed to vent and I needed some support!
Post # 3
Oh Frugalista, I’m so sorry it is so stressful for you right now! I agree that your sister is being completely ridiculous and you shouldn’t have to keep her at your house without her even asking you if it was okay. You are not the bad guy in that situation at all and you had a lot more patience with her than I would have had!
And I’m so sorry about your job cutting down your hours and not being able to get financial aid. Is there any way that you can appeal the decision because that’s a lot of money to come up with on a whim! I really hope that things get better for you soon and I’m here if you need to talk.
Post # 4
((HUGS)) I have no advice right now for you other than to keep your head up and tell your sister it’s time she finds another place to stay or start paying rent.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
**HUGS!!** Dang… that is a lot to deal with. 🙁 I hope your sister gets it together soon!
Post # 6
You are COMPLETELY in the right to ask your sister to move out. I know that supporting family is important, but you need to be healthy and well yourself before you can take care of someone else!
If she’s staying in the area, maybe you could invite her over for dinner once a week (like, every Monday) and ask how she’s doing – sort of like a compromise.
Post # 7
Have you seen 21 dresses, your reminds me of that.
Post # 8
My older sister struggles with mental illness and alcohol abuse. She has been in the hospital on a psych hold and has gotten 4 DUIs. I completely understand how frustrating it is being there for her and not having it appreciated.
These situations can be exhausting. You have every right to ask her to leave. It doesn’t make you a bad person and it doesn’t mean that you don’t care about her. You can’t stop taking care of you and your responsibilities. Does she have any othe family she could stay with?
Post # 9
I think you did the right thing asking her to leave and you are not a bad person. It sounds like your sister needs professional help. Can she move back in with your parents while she sees a psychologist 2-4 times a week for a while to sort out her problems? And weather her attempt or threat of suicide is “real” or not, it is definitely a cry for help which needs to be addressed. I went through a period where I was suicidal and reached out to family for help and was ignored…which landed me in the hospital and a psych ward when I actually did make an attempt. I’m not saying you should take her in, but help her find a stable place to stay and a professional to talk to. It sounds like you’re a great sister though- mine would never take me in, not even for two weeks! 🙂
Post # 10
Thanks ladies. She’s staying with my father, his 24yr old girlfriend and my younger brother for the time being. But, that’s the living situation she was in before and it wasn’t all together healthy for her but she’s a grown-up even if she won’t act like it and has made this decision on her own. Because of where they live seeing a psychologist is difficult and not to mention extremely expensive. My sister is a drama queen and was for all of our teenage years. I genuinely thought this was a cry for help too which is why I let her stay as long as she did but, after the inital threat nothing more has been said, she left her anti-depressent behind when she left and when I asked her about it she said “oh, I know that’s ok I can live without if for a while”. I was suicidal and depressed as a teenager so she would know that this is something which would push my buttons so to speak and I’d do whatever I could to make her better. I hate to say this about my sister but this is who she is and has been for a while. If she could, she’d be peter pan and never grow up.
@MissAsB- I tried appealing the decisions (both of them, my work and the school) and didn’t get hardly anywhere. I did talk to my school and they agreed to give me until after the holidays to come up with the money. The silver lining on a otherwise grey dark cloud.
Post # 11
no advice to give, but a ton of hugs
Post # 12
Update: School lowered my tuition just a smidgen and has given me until January 4th to pay the bill, some people have offered financial help so if I can pull some of the money out of thin air I’ve got other people out there who can do the same. My sis called last night, she’s been staying with my father, and is coming by today to pick up her stuff I just hope I have the strength to stand by my decision not to have her staying here.
Thanks ladies! You’re all awesome and I appreciate y’all so much!