- 5 years ago
I’m just looking to see if anyone else has been in a similar situation, and has some advice for me really.
I’m 25 and my boyfriend is 31. We have been together for 5 years, lived together for 3 years, one of which was overseas.
What started this off was that he asked me to marry him back in January this year, and I said yes. That basically kicked off a whole load of anxiety, fear and doubt, and so in February I told him that I wanted to call off the engagement, and so we did.
Basically, I think we got complacent. Thing had gotten very samey, and I don’t think either of us were appreciating each other or showing much interest in each other really.
We decided that we were going to work on things, and that’s what we have been doing. Or trying to do anyway.
The issue with me is that I have a really big feeling that I want to be on my own, that I need to be. I haven’t been single as an adult, I went from one relationship that went from when I was 17 to 20, and then straight into this one. I want to be free to date, and see where life takes me on my own.
however, I also love my boyfriend. I know from the above it doesn’t seem like I do, but I really do. He is a lovely man and he has made me who I am today. He is kind and sweet, he loves me for who I am and doesn’t try to change me. And I love him for who he is.
Its almost like I know he is my forever person, but not my right now person.
i know this is incredibly selfish of me, and I know there will be some of you bees who think I am a horrible person, but I am desperately trying not to be. What I want in the whole world is for these feelings to go away and for me to be happy again. Because I was before this all started, I thought I wanted to marry him and have children and be together for the rest of our lives. I don’t know if I am just being stupid and this is normal and cold feet.
But I just can’t get rid of the annoying nagging voice in my head, telling me I need to be alone.
i’ve been seeing a counsellor and that helped initially but doesnt seem to be getting me anywhere now.
So I am asking if anyone else has felt like this, and knows how I can kick these feelings and get my life back on track?