(Closed) Looks like I'm going to be the fat bridesmaid…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@ZebraPrintMe:  Will you be the only one already married?

Post # 4
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

🙁 im sorry you feel this way. what are the dresses like? Hopefully you will get to wear something flattering that makes you feel like 100 bucks!

Post # 6
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Those bridesmaids who will be standing with you have something in their head they will be worrying about as well. Everyone is insecure.

The last wedding I was a bridesmaid for, all the other 3 girls were super tan and had dark black hair. I’m super pale with blonde hair. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb.

Post # 7
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@ZebraPrintMe:  I promise you that your family won’t (unless there’s something really seriously wrong with them in which case who cares what they think?) look back at photos and see you as fat and ugly. They love you, and you are beautiful to them. You can absolutely make strides to change this – and by that I mean change the way you think of yourself, not change the way you look, which I’m sure is lovely. We are always our own worst critics, right? Could you get some books on improving self esteem, or see a therapist? I hate to think of you doing this to yourself. Try treating yourself the way you would treat your best friend. You deserve better than to be putting yourself down. *Hugs*

Post # 8
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I hear you.  I am the fat one with the supermodel sister as well.  Did I mention that after 3 kids she is still a size 4?  Yeah.  I have no words of advice, just know that there are others out there who feel the same as you do!!!

Post # 10
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@cls9q:  I know that you are really trying to be nice, but it’s just not the same.  From your picture you are most certainly GORGEOUS!  🙂  There’s a big difference between having a different hair and skin tone and being the fat, plain girl.  I’m the fat, plain girl, so I should know LOL.

Post # 11
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ZebraPrintMe:  maybe step down as bridesmaid if you’re going to feel uncomfortable? Life is too short. And attending as a guest is more fun anyway! Maybe you could do a reading or man the guest book instead?

Post # 13
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

As the BRIDE I feel the way you do.

One of my bms is a size 0, the other a 12.. I’m a size.. GASP 18/20.

Not much I can do… losing weight at the current moment would probably just backfire. [hello PCOS! – something that will get sorted out after the wedding.. yay insurance].

I am happy with who I am NOW, but.. not sure how I’m going to feel standing next to two much smaller girls. I really just try to push that out of my mind!

I know it doesn’t feel that way, but EVERYONE is insecure about something.. even women who we think look like models… they might not like their boobs, face, hair, ect.

Just know that YOU are your worst critic, I know everyone says that, but its TRUE.

If you don’t believe, watch the dove commercial [on youtube] with the portrait drawings. I’ve never seen a more real example.

Post # 14
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ZebraPrintMe:  well, if it makes you feel any better I’m a size 6 whose dress won’t zip and I’m terrified of looking like a pig at my wedding in May. I guarantee each of those girls has her own insecurity. 

Post # 15
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@ZebraPrintMe:  So you won’t be THAT “fat” bridesmaid then. I am sure you look amazing and don’t worry about the skinny girls.

All easier said than done, I know, but trust me when all is said and done it won’t matter.

I was the “fat” bridesmaid too and I felt great because my FI made me feel great and nothing else mattered to me.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@ZebraPrintMe:  I’m going to be the fat bride!  My MOH and only BM are sisters & they’re beautiful, I mean really beautiful – good genes these two.  One has the body made for fashion – model-esque and the other has curves for days – like super hourglass.  They both have huge bright green eyes & mile long eyelashes.  Mega-watt smiles & about 30 pounds worth of beautiful long blond & red hair, respectively.  Me: 20 pounds overweight and even worse just out of shape, super long torso, freakishly long arms, flat-nearly non existent butt or boobs, tiny dark brown eyes & baby fine hair frizzy hair with 14 cowlicks on my tiny head!  They call me beetle juice for my wee head! 

But you know what?  I’m still the only me.  I still feel good when I’m dressed up or “at my best”.  I learned a long time ago not to compare myself to others (especially my 2 BFF freaks of nature)  I only compare myself to ME.  And even then I have to realize that I’m my most critical observer.  I guarantee that your friends, loved ones & strangers too, think you’re beautiful & are jealous of some asset or another of yours.  

As far as “sitting in the corner” maybe you’re just more of an introvert than your pals?  I used to be hard on myself for not being as social as some of my peers.  But eventually I learned that I just am quieter, more reserved, etc.  I’m an introvert.  There’s nothing wrong with that.

Cut yourself some slack girl!  You are the best & only you there is.  Cheesy as that sounds, it’s true! 

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