Post # 1
So I’m not telling anyone about this in real life, but I have to get it out! My FI and I are getting married in 2 months (64 days to be exact) and we just moved across the country less than 4 weeks ago for my first job post-PhD. He has been applying for jobs left and right but hasn’t gotten anything yet.
We just found out that his health insurance expires July 31st and he can’t get COBRA (extended health insurance) from his old job because it’s too small after down-sizing in the bad economy. He also can’t get a private insurance plan because he has a pre-existing condition (Type 1 Diabetes) so he’s denied by every company even though he’s healthy. The man has never had a diabetes-related health insurance claim and has run 4 marathons and done a full Ironman for crying out loud!
So we’re really stuck between a rock and a hard place and after talking to my aunt who works for a health care policy firm in DC (she said she even talked to people who consult for Obama!), it seems our only option is for him to go uninsured or for us to get married now so he can get on my health insurance plan which starts on August 1st.
So…. looks like we’re going to city hall on Monday! It’s kind of strange, but I hope it won’t take away from the emotional aspect of our “real” wedding in September. I mean we’re really just signing some forms on Monday; we won’t be saying vows or have our families there (they all live across the country). We don’t even know who we can ask to be witnesses since we don’t have any good friends here yet! We aren’t going to really tell anyone except for a few family members and best friends. I don’t want people to feel offended that we were really married before the wedding and think we just wanted gifts or something! We obviously weren’t planning on this to happen!
Not to get on a soap box or start any controversy, but in 2014 when Obamacare comes into act, this situation would not happen. He would not be denied health care because of a pre-existing condition and we wouldn’t be forced to get married without our loved ones around. It will all work out, and we are obviously getting married so soon anyway that it’s not a huge deal, but it’s not an ideal situation and a little disappointing that our wedding wont’ really be when we get married. But hey, we are getting married Monday!!
Post # 3
Have fun! Enjoy two special days and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it!
Post # 4
You gotta do what you gotta do. We have friends who have gotten “pre-married” for a host of reasons, from military rules to insurance needs to simply wanting a friend to officiate the ceremony and thus needing to ‘make it legal’ beforehand. In this day and age, I can’t imagine anyone getting offended – and the wedding celebration is about making your committment public, anyway, so just think of the two ceremonies as faces of the same coin 🙂
Best of luck to you and your FI!
Post # 5
Congrats!! 🙂 FI and I would have pushed our wedding out to Nov. 2014 to save some cash, but I will be turning 26 in Sept and my ins is running out in Oct…I’m a student intern at my job so I have no benefits, lol. I am healthy, can’t afford to pay private insurance, and am eligible for absolutely zero assistance, so I totally get it. There will be a 2.5 week gap in my coverage and let’s just hope I don’t get sick or do something retarded and break a bone within that time *knockonwood*
HAVE FUN!!! <3
Post # 6
@icanhearyousmile: 2.5 weeks isn’t too bad, just be careful! We’d be ok with 2 weeks, just not 2 months!!
@loveandapitbull: Yeah I don’t think anyone would get offended, I guess it’s just a little weird so I didn’t want to publicize it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@RunnerBride13: OOOH congrats! As long as you make sure your family and close friends keep it locked up tight, it should all be fine. Some of our best friends got married in June and had actually signed the paperwork about 3 weeks early for insurance purposes, too. They told us and I basically forgot all about it at the wedding – it was still such a special day and the true beginning of their marriage.
I agree with you about Obamacare and wish it could all go into effect sooner.
Post # 8
I agree – do what you have to do, and absolutely don’t let it take away from your special day!
Post # 9
Think of it as your own special secret wedding, like Jim and Pam from the office.
Post # 10
@RunnerBride13: You are doing the right thing and I am sure both days will be very special. Ignore anyone who says otherwise. You are a wise and loving person to put your fiance’s health first.
Post # 11
@HobbyLobbyist: Aww what a great point!
Post # 12
Well congrats! Gotta do what you gotta do!
Post # 13
thankfully, when i left my job, becuase FH and I were living together we were able to claim common-law status on his insurance and have me added.
Post # 14
Aw, if I were in CA I would come witness 🙂
Everything happens for a reason. I like the “secret wedding,” thing. I don’t think it will take away anything from your day in September since you will be surrounded by everyone that’s special to y’all.
Post # 15
@RunnerBride13: We had a similar situation. We were legally married 6 months before our big wedding celebration. Getting the paperwork taken care of first did not take away from the emotion of the wedding day AT ALL! Cheers to health insurance!
Post # 16
…a type 1 diabetic who never has diabetes-related health claims? What about insulin, test strips and visits to the endocrinologist? My fiancé has type 1 diabetes, and really healthy, but being insulin-dependent does not make a cheap health insurance client, no matter how healthy 😛 That being said, I also live in California, and my FH has insurance through the state, California high risk pool or something like that, and it’s not cheap, but it is something. But if getting married on Monday is still the best move for you, have fun then and on your wedding day, and remember there’s nothing wrong with 2 anniversaries to celebrate 🙂