(Closed) Loose Sight of What Counts

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I love my FI and he means more to me than breathing but I would love to skip a weddding. I personally just want to be done with the whole thing. I wanted to elope and my FI wanted a big elaborate wedding so I am acting like a groom right now. I will do what he asked me too but if he doesnt ask I dont volunteer. I have to be on display for about 250 people maybe I might change how I feel when the weeks and days get closer.

Post # 4
Member
46 posts
Newbee

I think I will be like you when I start to plan my wedding. I am just trying to choose my ring right now and have already felt lost like this, thankfully my love was there to help me stay on track reminding me what matters the most, for us that would be to do whatever makes us happy and well, stay within budget since we are not rich haha.

So if you can afford it and it will make you happy, why shouldn’t you? if the answer is because you should save as much as possible then it just means you can’t really afford it, don’t forget to be practical, it will make things easier in the long run to not have to start your married life in debt.

It reminds me of an old classmate, her version of jeans fitting her was that she could zip up and close the button showing a muffin top, that it “fits” doesn’t mean it’s your size or you should wear it πŸ˜› so think about your budget as jeans πŸ˜‰

You get to marry the man of your dreams, that is a lot more than most get πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree it’s so easy to get caught up in the pretty things along the way and you can seriously rationalize it.  I’m cheap and knew the budget but got sucked into a couple of things we didn’t need/i shouldn’t have attempted…. but when it didn’t work out and I was terribly upset, DH (FI at the time) and I had a long talk and we BOTH pulled back on the spending we were both doing.  It’s almost like you need a sign somewhere in your house …. IT”S ONE DAY IS __________ WORTH IT (lol)

Post # 6
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah, our original budget was figured out, money was allocated to each thing using a formula. After mnths of planning, our budget was blown due to flowers, a ceremony guitarist, and lighting.The extras put us over budget about $3,000. When taking it all into consideration, we figured that even though it is JUST ONE DAY, it is the ONE AND ONLY day we will ever get married.

After MUCH deliberation, we went with the extras. It was just worth it to love our wedding and have no regrets.

That being said, we did not lose sight of what is important.

Post # 7
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

It is very easy to get caught up in the details, especially with wedding forums and Pinterest.

At the end of the day, all you need is the man, the preacher and the dress. Everything else is window dressing that 99% of your guests won’t care about or notice, and you and your beloved won’t either come your 5 year anniversary.

I can’t recommend enough the book “A Practical Wedding”. It just puts everything in perspective for me. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yes, I sometimes find myself losing sight of what’s important when I worry about some minor detail. FI usually brings me back to earth. Example:

Me: zomg the plates are going to be tacky looking, everything is ruined forever!

FI: Do you even remember what plates were used at the wedding we attended two weeks ago?

Me: ….no

Post # 10
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@KingsDaughter:  Honestly, Doll, it’s very helpful and to be honest, I find forums (even like this) to hurt more than they help

 

Good luck, and i totally relate πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
46 posts
Newbee

@SeaSalt:  never heard of that book “a practical wedding” but it certainly sounds like the kind of book a clueless woman like myself needs (only child and only attended 1 wedding ever)… writting it on purpose in case I forget!

 

@littlemisst08:  your FI is so sweet!!

Post # 12
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@Felina:  We are in the same boat, except I’ve attended 3 weddings in my life (15+ years ago!) πŸ™‚

It’s not the best “how to plan a wedding” book, but an excellent book for pointing out what is actually important and for reminding you why you are doing this in the first place.

Post # 13
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@KingsDaughter:  I think this happens to me a little more than I’d like to admit.  I was never even the type of girl who dreamed about her wedding!  Haha.

My fiance and I haven’t set a strict budget, but we kind of vaguely know we’d like to stay between about $10,000 – $13,000.  That gives us a little wiggle room, but doesn’t give us a huge range to play with.  I know we’d both prefer to stay closer to $10,000 (or under, if that’s possible!) just because that seems like an obscene amount of money to spend for one day.  (I should mention, though, that our “budget” doesn’t include my dress, his tux, any shoes and accessories, our wedding bands, my engagement ring [I’ve seen this included in a few budgets], or our honeymoon.  It’s more of a guideline of how much we’re willing to fork out for the ceremony and reception and everything that goes with that [minus the attire].)

It’s hard to not go a little crazy over all the awesome options out there at times.  We’re both of the “This is a once in a lifetime thing” mindset, so we want it to be special.  But, honestly, what will make it special is having the people we love sharing the day with us.  Unfortunately for us, part of having those people there is making sure they have an awesome time … Which means paying more money for delicious food, a fun DJ, a photobooth, etc.

I will say that my fiance and I both get a little caught up in the details sometimes.  The only way to get back to reality, though, is for us to set aside some time for us.  Yesterday we paid the deposit for our venue (yay!), but then we spent the rest of the evening doing non-wedding things.  It was nice and made us both happy.  At the end of the day, we’re just excited to start a new chapter in our lives.

 

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