Post # 1
Okay. I know there are a lot of Sex and the City fans out there, so hopefully you all understand my silly example. Do you remember Charlotte’s wedding to Harry and how there were all these bumps and basically they decided the worse the wedding, the better the marriage? ugh… please tell me this is true!
We haven’t had our wedding yet, but it seems like everything related to it has been so difficult! I am not trying to be overdramatic, but I just feel like I put in all this work and research and once I feel like one thing is settled, it falls apart. First of all, we had to postpone (which I posted about before) which I am fine with now, but now our church is going to going through construction during that time! And not just the time that we were hoping to postpone to, but even the time of our original date! The wedding coordinator at the church contacted me to tell me that their contracters told her not to book anything after september of this year. Our original date was in October of this year, so the church’s lawyer was fighting for our date (I had no idea) but now that she knows I need to postpone, she is kinda’ like, well – maybe you can postpone to July-August of 2009 – but even then she can’t guarantee that the construction will be done. wth! that is crazy! we were thinking more like april/may at the latest, but NOT august… is it fair for me to simply ask for my deposit back?
but then it would mean back to the drawing board. I LOVE the church. my father chose it for my sister’s wedding and he loved it. He has since passed away so i felt like this is the one decision he was a part of for my own wedding. Also, I love our reception site, but if we can’t have the church, I don’t know of any others around the area that i would like. My sister suggested just starting over and looking for new church and reception site all together… seriously? i don’t think people realize how much work goes into finding and deciding upon a venue. Can I do it again? I don’t even want to go into the issues I ran into regarding my dress… and a bedroom set my mom was going to buy for me and my FH (she is so sweet…)
Has anyone else run into so many problems while planning their wedding? sorry this is so long. i had to vent to you guys because I think my FH is tired of having to assure me that our relationship/future marriage is not doomed because of all these bad signs. haha.
Post # 3
I just want to let you know that I totally feel your pain. I just moved closer to my FI and we didn’t want to just get married in any old church but wanted the church to be one that we would attend in the future. We finally decided on a church and set the date. Just like you, the church was undergoing construction and we were told it would be ready. 4 months before our wedding, they called to tell us that we should probably move our wedding because they don’t think the church will be ready. Surprisingly, I didn’t have a meltdown . . . we found another church and although it’s not exactly the prettiest one around (think GREEN carpet!!!), I’m glad that we could still use the same pastor from our old church.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is this: If the church is undergoing construction, do NOT count on it being ready in time! Our church ran into issues with city permits, etc., things that are out of their control. I’m sorry, but that’s just the reality of things. If you really love the church, is there anyway to move the wedding up? I know you mentioned wanting to postpone the wedding, but would you consider moving it up just to get married there? Anyway, goodluck with your wedding. It’s easy to lose sight of what’s important. For us, we realized that we would rather get married then postpone again and wait for the church. I know we all have our dream weddings, but frankly, unless there’s a dream WORLD to go with that, it’s hard to pull off. Best wishes to you! I’m sure your wedding will be beautiful wherever you decide to have it!
Post # 4
I feel your pain as well, especially with the church area. We are getting married in OC at our church. The chapel was just rennovated but during our wedding the main worship center is going through rennovation. We decided to push on and still get married at our church, although at times I just wanted to quit everything and coerce FH to get married through the courthouse. Where ever you choose to get married, I’m sure it will be beautiful and go as you planned it. There are many bumps in the road, and we all get through it somehow. Good luck!
Post # 5
I’m not sure its quite as simple as that – but certainly if the worst thing that ever happens in your whole marriage is this scheduling problem with the church, you will have a happy life! You can maybe look at it this way – you are going to be making difficult decisions as a team the rest of your life. If you get some practice now, and manage to support each other through it okay, that certainly bodes well for the future.
My dad keeps reminding me that while there a whole lot of things we would love to have lined up for our wedding, they don’t really matter nearly as much as the actual marriage. I know that we could get married in the courthouse by justice of the peace and be sooo happy just to be together. So really, all the scheduling issues (while really frustrating) are not all that relevant.
I would say that if you don’t want to postpone again, find another church. If the church is more important to you than waiting, and rescheduling everything else, by all means wait for it. But I would take graciette’s advice and DO NOT believe them about their projected date – add a few more months just to be sure that you don’t end up having to reschedule again, or find another church anyway.
Post # 6
Thank you all for being so reassuring and reasonable. 🙂 I agree that I need to keep things in perspective and the venue is sooo NOT as improtant as being with the one I love. But I am most bummed about the church because of the sentimental value it has in letting my deceased father be a part of the wedding planning process… ho hum as eeyore would say.
anyways, I am strongly leaning towards moving everything all together but will keep you all updated! xoxo.