Post # 1
My Fiance have been engaged since Thanksgiving (roughly). This is my second marriage, his first, and so we’ve been back and forth on the wedding vs. eloping with a big party TBD issue, but he really wants a wedding so I will respect his wishes. It’s going to be a large picnic theme, nothing *too* fancy, but still a wedding. Mind you, since becoming engaged my family hasn’t brought up the wedding much, if at all. I have to mention it if I want to talk about something, run an idea past someone. My sister and I see each other every single day, and I see my parents once a week or so…so it’s not like I never see them. They all know my ideas, but I don’t think they ‘get’ it. My mom suggested 2 liter bottles of soda on a beverage table…like a regular BBQ and not a wedding. But since no one brings it up, and I feel like a bridezilla when I do, it’s hard to get the point across.
So today, I mention the wedding. She barely pays attention, but at this point I feel I deserve more than a casual comment in passing, so I mention a dress I saw that looks pretty. She looks at it and says ‘Wait, we’re losing weight before this wedding, right?’ WTF?????
No, I’m not a supermodel. I’m short, I’m chunky, I don’t look good in certain styles for different reasons…but I’ve been this size since I was a teenager and figured out that you HAD to eat in order to live. I was bigger than this for my first wedding, and I never had any issues. I have never been self conscious about my weight, I don’t complain about my weight like some who constantly need to lose those 10 pounds or whatever. I am who I am. Sure, I’d love to wear those cute little things I see in the mall, but it’s not like I’m morbidly obese like on the TV shows and can’t wear regular clothes! I shop in the SAME places she does!!
UGH, I was so hurt by this. If she has insecurities, she needs to deal with them, but I’m fine. I have a wonderful man who wants to spend his life with me and thinks I’m beautiful! If I decide to go on a healthy diet and lose weight, I’ll do it for health reasons…not to fit into a dress in a year. I’m sorry if this post offends someone, it’s my own personal views on myself. I struggled with weight for a long time, and decided a few years ago that the constant obsessing was less healthy than the extra pounds. That’s just me.
Post # 3
Sounds like your head is in the right place and you are confident with yourself. Don’t let your mother’s comment get you down. Use it as a way to bond with her. My Mom and I started going to the gym together because she wants to lose weight for the wedding but I’m just toning up. We have a good time and it’s always more fun to go to the gym with someone else — maybe that’s why she’s trying to convince you to go.
Post # 4
I know how you feel. I recently told my mother I may have PCOS and that would be part of the reason I’ve always struggled with my weight. Her comment was “Well, you must be relieved.” I didn’t bother to respond, but needless to say, I was offended by her comment. She obviously said it because SHE is relieved. Maybe she figures I’ll take some pill to cure the PCOS and be skinny all of a sudden. If that’s the case, she’s wrong.
Like someone else said, you have your head in the right place. My fiance once told me (before we were a couple) that he loves that I am so confident about my body and not hung up on the fact that I need to lose weight or be a certain size to be happy.
Don’t pay much attention to what she has to say. You’re beautiful and you know it.
Post # 5
I love the fact that you’re so confident!
YOU GO GIRL!
You’ll make a lovely bride because you will know you look good on the day!
As for the mother, that’s a bit weird. I’ve heard a lot of parents go funny when it comes to a second wedding, so maybe she’s just got this whole ‘You’ve had your day, you don’t need another’ thing in her head. I think she might have forgotten that it’s your fiance’s special day too.
The weight comment ws just rude though. Shrug it off and focus your enegry on creating your special day.
Post # 6
There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own skin and OWNING what you look like. It’s fantastic in fact! Kindly tell your mom that you’re not looking to lose weight and you love yourself just as you are, thank you very much. Good luck with the planning, it sounds like it will be fun. It stinks when others really aren’t into the planning but that’s just the reality sometimes. Use the folks on here for opinions instead. We’re much more into weddings. 🙂
Post # 7
My sympathies. My mom has made comments like this to me, even when I weighed 110 (and I am far from that now). I’ve had to tell her to stop. She means well, but it’s not helpful.
Post # 8
Sometimes moms can be so bitchy, who knows why, I don’t get it. My grandma keeps pointing out how small my boobs are in every dress…awesome, I am aware, get me a boob job if you want or shut up. I hope this makes us better parents 🙂 my