Post # 1
Dear Bees,<br /><br />My husband and I were intimate with each other for about a decade before we got married. Normally, he and I both have no problem getting “in the mood”. But a few months before the wedding, my sex drive disappeared out of thin air. Now that we’ve been married for three months, it’s just starting to come back.
I think my drop in libido has probably been stress-related, because there has not been any other major change in my lifestyle or my diet. My husband blames it on my Nuvaring, but I’ve been using that form of birth control for 8 years with no problems with my libido thus far, until now. I’m pretty sure it’s just the wedding stress, followed by the ‘getting used to living with each other’ phase, which I feel is starting to get easier now that we’re three months in to sharing our space. But if this issue continues in the next few weeks, I am going to see my OB/GYN to make sure nothing else is going on.
I am curious if anyone else experienced a similar drop in libido around their wedding time, or as a newlywed?
Post # 2
My DH had this BAD. His stemmed from fear though. For some reason our engagement really changed him, he started worrying more about the future and eating better and really stepped up into the “husbandly” roll. He was SO WORRIED he was going to die before our wedding date for some reason that he would stop and take his pulse if he felt his heart rate go up, and stopped taking risks like riding his motorcycle. Well, that certain “activity” gets your heart going so the entire time all he could think about was dying before we could get married. A mood killer to say the least!!!! Now that the wedding is over he’s okay again, I have no idea what made him so afraid!
Post # 3
That is interesting! I appreciate hearing about it – maybe I have been going through something like that subconsciously. It’s been a huge life change, obviously!
Post # 4
I guess it depends on what is going on in your life at the time and how you deal with it.
We’ve been married 7 months and I started a new job a few months ago which sometimes involves a lot of overtime/night work which kills libido.
Also arguing with DH about certain topics repeatedly also doesn’t help. (such as our TTC timeline, I do not understand his reasoning to continue waiting until the end of the year and as a result I do not respect him for it / get bitter about it / don’t want to be near him until I snap out of it).
Post # 5
I have noticed that since we started seriously talking about engagement (about a year ago) that our frequency has dropped. I’m hoping that it’s just wedding jitters mixed with financial stress and being busy with work/kids/life. Once a week is really just….unsatisfying.
Post # 6
marie_antoinette: We were intimate everyday— until the actual wedding planning started. That, and a couple months before we got engaged he started a new job which requires him to start work @ 4am. So he’s tires (but doesn’t mind being woken up for fun)– and I was in the throws of planning a wedding in 4.5 months.
So what you’re describing to me sounds exactly what we went through.