- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014 - Traverse City
For some reason I sort of saw this coming, but at the same time I was still shocked when it happened. For my bridal party, I selected my group of close-knit mutual girlfriends from college, 6 girls. One of the girls, Sarah, notified me via Facebook message that she’s terminated the BM status.
Sarah and I knew each other through college and we were roommates my junior year. While we lived together, I would say we had a close friendship. Once senior year came and when I graduated in May, we drifted a little (as distance does) but nothing serious. However, Sarah has always been worried about being left out and excluded, even when that’s not the case at all. For her it has always been “all or nothing”– either she’s invited to everything any one girl in our group does or she’s being excluded.
Most recently, two girls were “tagged” in something, and she made a very snide comment about it, saying “oh, I feel so included right now!”. I was really taken back by this so I sent her a message, asking her to explain why she felt left out and that I was sorry she felt that way. She responded with her usual that no one wants to invite her to things, etc. Just to be clear, it’s not that she was intentionally not invited but us 3 girls just so happened to be free. I always invite Sarah to do things, I let her know when I’m in town; yet most the time, she won’t respond to these invites.
So to continue, I responded to her message in what I thought to be a genuinely friendly way, explaining that it’s exhausting trying to maintain a friendship when that person is fighting against it. I also told her that I couldn’t understand how she could possibly not feel as “important”, since I did ask her to be a BM.
That’s when she said “Actually, I was surprised you even asked anyway”…. Low blow?! Has this been a one-sided friendship? Anyway, she concluded by saying she felt it’s best that she doesn’t continue as a BM.
The wedding isn’t for 18 months so it doesn’t really affect it in the sense of time, however, I guess it was just a little hurtful? Or maybe I just feel foolish :/