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OMG, that is so sad! I am sorry! I would put something in the wedding program honoring her, or maybe dedicate a song to her.
i think any way you spin it, there is going to be sadness, but maybe a locket with her picture in it on your bouquet so she is with you?
Is there any small gift that she gave you, that you could attach to your bouquet? BTW-My mom died one month before my daughter's wedding day, and I felt her presence there. I am sure that she will be there with you on your wedding day. I am sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss hon. What a sad time for you all. It's so nice of you wanting to keep her with you, but keeping it sort of as a private moment between the two of you. A couple of ideas: A locket with her photo in it pinned inside your dress on your bouquet, you don't have to show everyone what's in it, nor would anyone notice unless you point it out. Was there something that she was really passionate about or really loved? Like if she loved knitting (?!), you could find a charm of knitting needles and wear those somewhere...
I am so so sorry for your lost, that's horrible. Maybe a slideshow for her in her memory? or name tables after her memory.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I love the idea of a locket. How about a note in the program about celebrating your friendship? A positive remembrance of the friendship you shared, instead of focusing on just remembering her...to avoid a "memorial" feeling? My line of thought is that you chose her to be a bridesmaid bc of your friendship and that can be celebrated for years to come.
Maybe make a bouquet for her anyway and keep in in a vase where she would have stood?
I'm so sorry for you loss. I would find a nice locket that you could attach to your bouquet with a picture of her inside. It's something small and simple that you will know is there but that won't draw undue attention to itself.
I'm so, so sorry. That is heartbreaking.
I actually want to suggest that you not try to avoid all sadness on your wedding day. Of course you want it to be a happy day, and it will be. But acknowledging the death of someone you loved, and the loss that you and her friends and family still carry, can be healing, too. It can also make you cherish the joy of the occasion and the company of those you love even more.
Still, you are the only one who knows what would be best for you and her family. One possibility is to have an extra bridesmaid's bouquet made and display it in a vase with her name and a message of love for the ceremony.
@MissConverse - I'm sorry for your loss. I think a locket or trinket tied to your bouquet would be best since you don't want others to become overly emotional. I had my G-ma's cross from one of her rosaries attached to my bouquet. This was such a special momento for me and it was as if she was standing there with me!
I'm so sorry for your loss. As for ideas: For our wedding, I had my moose necklace around my bouquet. It was simple, but I knew that our baby was there. Also, I really like the idea of having a bouquet for her. Maybe you could give it to her mom after the ceremony. Before the ceremony maybe you could have the bouquet outside the ceremony location with a candle. It'd be simple, but you'd know what it was and sometimes that's all that matters.
At a wedding a friend of mine went to, a bridesmaid had been lost to cancer not long before the wedding took place.
There were seven bridesmaids altogether (there were 8). One bridesmaid walked, two, three, four, (Pause for where bridesmaid five would have walked down the aisle), six, seven, eight. Just as though she had been there. When they got to the altar, they left a space for her, where she would have stood.
A poem in the program clued in anyone who didn't know what had happened, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Not sure if that's too sad/memorialesque, but it's a thought. Hugs to you. This must be so hard.
I am very sorry for your loss. I can relate, a very close friend, who was going to be my FI best man past away in June. I recommend getting a dozen roses, or a bouquet of flowers and set them out on a table at the ceremony. Then in the programs write something to the effect of The roses displayed are to honor ______ and all the friends and family that have past before us. Good luck with you decision and remember she will be with you in spirit :)
I am sorry to hear of your loss. My friend lost her mother a year before her wedding, and her moms favorite color was purple...so even though her wedding colors were red/white/black...every bridesmaid bouquet had a single deep purple flower placed in it, and a purple ribbon tied around w/ the red/black. The guys wore red flowers w/ a small purple ribbon on them. So it was very subtle in how she made her moms memory knows throughout her day. Something like this could be nice to honor your friend.
So sorry for your loss. Maybe you could lay her bouquet down where she would have been standing? I am paying tribute to my late brother by placing a single flower on an empty seat at the front on my way up the aisle - maybe something similar as an acknowledgement that she should have been there and is missed.
I don't have any suggestions, but I just want to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find the perfect way to honor her.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Perhaps you could give her mother a flower to wear that day, or a small bouquet or single flower like the one she would have had if she had been there to be a bridesmaid.
I had bouquet charms made for my wedding with pictures of my grandparents, because some one had passed away and the others couldn't be there for me. I got them on etsy & absolutely loved them. My entire family knew (my aunt even borrowed my bouquet during the reception to go show our other family members), but it was subtle enough that it wasn't overly sad. Plus, I loved having them "walk" down the aisle with me since they couldn't be there.
We also mentioned them in our programs.
Another idea... did she have a favorite charity? Perhaps in lieu of favors, you could donate to "her" charity.
While nothing seems *perfect*... the locket on my bouquet idea will probably fit this situation the best. Her mother will have a crosage already & son will wear a flower in her honor as well. Thank you all for the great idea's...
Could you choose a song that reminds you of her to play while your bridesmaids are processing/walking down the aisle? It wouldn't need to be mentioned that that is why you chose the song, but it would be something meaningful to those who know.
You could also choose to use her favourite flowers in your bouquet.
Is the ceremony outside? If so maybe you could let a single white dove go at the end of the ceremony in her rememberence? You could have the officiant anounce this is why...
I'm so sorry for your loss. So sad to hear. I like the locket idea,too.
Hi,
I would advise against the bouquet, but let me explain why.
My wedding was 8 years following the passing of my mom,and generally I am ok with it. I miss her but have mostly moved past the crying jags.
At our wedding rehearsal we were running through the ceremony and were getting ready to practice the exchange of roses to our "mom's". In my mother's place I had chosen my aunt who cared for her to sit in her spot and that I would give her the rose. The minister forgot that my mom was deceased and as we were standing there he told us to turn around and focus on our mom prior to moving down the stairs to give the roses to them. I turned around and saw my wonderful aunt and I promptly burst into tears because all I could think about was how my mom wasn't there. It was awful.
My concern is that if you have a bouquet standing where she would have been or waiting for her, the focus for you will be...she should have been here, she is gone. A great gesture could turn into sadness for you on your happy day. Roses in a vase as someone else mentioned on a table with maybe a photo would be nice. You could still give her parents the flowers.
Or-in the program you could have a line at the bottom dedicating the service to her and perhaps give one of the altar arrangements to her parents or something.
Just my two cents.
My heart aches for her little boy.
Do something that has sentiment to you, you don't need to share with others what you're doing. It won't become sad if it's between you and her.
If she loved pink roses, add one pink rose to your bouquet.
If she ever gave you a piece of jewelry, pin it somehow in your bouquet.
Tuck a rhinestone initial pin of her name in your bouquet.
(seems like I'm fixated on bouquets)
So sorry for your loss
That is terribly sad. I am so so sorry. I think the previous posters have had good ideas with the locket and taking a piece of something she loves and including it in your day.
My dad passed away a few years ago and I am planning to have his photo on a bouquet charm, have a reading prior to our vows dedicating them in memory to those who could not be there, and displaying my parents' wedding photo somewhere in the reception. Probably alongside other family wedding portraits on the guestbook table. I haven't decided on anything else yet, and these ideas might be too sentimental for what you want, but I hope that you find something meaningful.
Did she or the two of you have a (happy, fun) song that she/both of you loved? You could play that at the reception with or without the MC doing a dedication. That might be a nice way to celebrate her memory.
A song is just too much, and I dont want it announced at all. It will almost be a year since her passing, which to me is just too soon. The locket is discreet & no one even has to know, but me. MY heart aches for him too, but I love to watch her live through him.
My sincerest condolences for your loss. You're a sweetheart for wanting to remember and honor her on your wedding day.
You could wear a piece of her jewelry, or perhaps use a scarf of hers tucked under your dress as your "something borrowed." You could also have the deejay make a toast to her at the reception. The locket idea is really wonderful.
My cousin had a similar situation at her wedding, and presented a bouquet to her childhood best friend's mother during the ceremony. (It was very emotional for the parents...who had lost their daughter in a car accident, and I think was unexpected... so they were unprepared. If I were you, I would think of someway of making her family know that you were recognizing them as being important and honored because of your dear and precious friendship with her. Perhaps include them in the rehearsal dinner and present them with a gift of a special photo or framed poem. Perhaps have her son carry a special charm along with the rings that can be given to him to keep and pass on to his own bride someday.
I think someone mentioned this, but I like the idea of a bouquet being laid in the spot where she would have stood in the ceremony.
I did not read all the posts so forgive me if someone else suggested this:
Could you obtain a handkerchief or old scarf of hers and wrap it around your bouquet? Then you would be holding a piece of her the entire ceremony.....
I am so sorry for your loss :-(.
A guy from my high school passed away from cancer. When his childhood buddy got married, they gathered everybody outside who knew him, and they had a special toast in his honor. It was a nice way to remember him. He had been gone...either a year or two, I can't remember. It was a special way for people to remember and celebrate him on their wedding day.
I agree with the posts about your bouquet. It's something BEATUIFUL and HAPPY on your day. It will keep her smiling memory alive and with a heartfelt note it will be perfect. Add her initial to your bouquet too and just have the precious sentiment. As many mentioned above, no matter what way it's done it will cause some pain b/c the heart is healing it's loss. It's great you're going to do this. Remember, she will STILL be wiht you!
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I lost one of my bridesmaids in a car accident Sept. 14th. I would like to keep her memory in my wedding without it looking like a memorial for her. Just a simple little sentimental something. (I dont want a candle, or her picture because its too soon after her death & dont want sad emotions on my day.) I hope someone else can connect with this, or give me some advice. One thing that is HUGE is not wanting sad emotions, her family will be there, along with her 3 year old son(whom is in my wedding & recognizes her in pictures) of course its sad right now, because its still so fresh & by my wedding day it will have been almost a year. I've been stressing about this so bad, because I need her with me by my side. I never imagined she wouldn't physically be there with me, so something sentimenal would be just perfect... IDEAS! PLEASE & THANK YOU!