(Closed) Lost my excitement for planning – my groom is not on board with my dream venue

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Calm down and schedule some time to sit down together and discuss the pros and cons of the backyard wedding versus his idea(s).  Do it at a neutral location in public so you both feel comfortable with expressing your opinions but you are unlikely to escalate and get upset (unless you guys like to get upset in public then find somewhere else.)  Be understanding and address his concerns one by one by writing them down.  Maybe he attended a backyard wedding and he didn’t like it.  Maybe he thinks having it in your backyard will make it extra stressful for planning because you can’t get away from it.  Who knows unless you talk about it.

Post # 4
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@GirlNextDoor:  I had similar issues to this early in and let me tell you it gets better! as women we see the full picture including our guests, our memories , and our bottom line, whereas on the other hand guys ned more convincing.  My advice would be to do what I did: look into his options and create a spread sheet on excel comparing costs, confortably, and overall experience between your dream venue and what he sees as other options.  In the end your decision will make so much sense he will think he thought of it.  I think in the beginning the couple (or at least one person) thinks more about what will make everyone else happy rather than what will make them happy.  Trust me, I almost had my wedding at a so-so hotel to best accomodate my guests, but I snapped out of it and now I have the venue of my dreams!  Trust your instincts, give him time, and everything will come together 🙂

Post # 6
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

I am going to give you my perspective as a guest at a wedding some years ago. My cousin got married in the spring and part of the reception was held outside. There was a tent although there weren’t sides. It was cold and raining and I and numerous other guests were miserable. We had to walk through the rain to get to the bathrooms and to and from our car. The ground was soggy and muddy underneath the tent and walking in our heels was a mess.

Some of these issues would not be a problem since your tent would have sides. If you are going to have 150 guests you will need portable bathrooms. Waiting in lines in the rain outside for a portable bathroom would make me quite irritable. Plus you will have to rent everything- tent, chairs, tables, heaters, plates, cups, etc etc.

Don’t be so quick to rule out other venues. It’s early in planning so proceed with an open mind and at least consider other options. A very good back up plan for rain will be essential to your stress level and guest comfort. My daughter had an outdoor reception and although it didn’t rain on the wedding day, it made things much less stressful as we were watching the weather forecast the week leading up to the wedding.

 

Post # 8
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that for it to be a “dream venue” you both need to agree….while it may ultimately be the best choice, you both need to come to that decision as a team, not because you and the moms all agree and have great ideas and he doesn’t get a say.

I think you owe it to each other to honestly and unbiasedly consider all possible venues on the table and assess them based on cost, convenience, guest comfort, etc etc etc.

 

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