- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
Yesterday, the office manager and my coworker both called me into the conference room and told me they were letting me go. Apparently my boss told them to let me go and downsizing seems to be the reason.
I was stunned. I literally thought they were playing a mean joke on me at first as I was completely blindsided by this.
Then once I realized that it was real, I started crying. I’m embarassed to say that I was basically sobbing, I was crying so hard.
But my office manager, who we will call Betty, was very kind. Even though she technically let me go but I don’t blame her. She told me it was my boss’s decision and that he told her to let me go. And my coworker, who we’ll call Annie, was also very nice about it. I’m not too sure why Annie was actually there because we were on an equal footing, so to speak. But I guess Betty might have just wanted backup or something.
They tried to console me, they gave me tissues and a glass of water. They told me to go to the unemployment office first thing in the morning so that I could start getting benefits ASAP. Annie works part-time at Cracker Barrel so she told me to come by and fill out an application and she’d put in a good word for me.
Both Betty and Annie told me that they would give me good references as well. So at least I have that.
I just feel…numb, I think. And exhausted. I know I should start looking for a new job ASAP but thinking about updating my resume, cover letter just exhausts me right now.
I just don’t get it. The thing that galls me is that my boss literally told me ONE DAY before I was let go, that I needed to cross train with another girl so that we could do each other’s jobs if one of us was out of the office. Like he said that to my face. Why say that if you’re just gonna let me go the day after?!
And now I am so scared. I have been living paycheck to paycheck and I’m freaking out about paying my bills. I went to the unemployment office this morning so at least I will have some money coming in. But it won’t be enough. I’ll still be about $200 short every month.
And that money will only last me for 18 weeks. What if I can’t find a new job in time? I’m just so scared.
The one bright spot in all this is my SO. He has been AMAZING. When I called him after I left the office yesterday, I was literally crying so hard that he could not understand me at first. But once he heard, he dropped everything and instantly drove over an hour over to see me. Then he spent all night with me, trying to cheer me up. He kept telling me, “We’ll get you through this. And I will help you with your bills as much as I can. You will be okay, I promise. We will get you through this.”
He is so amazing. What would I do without him?
Oh yeah, other than the immediate worry of being able to pay my bills, I am also very upset because now we are not able to move in together in January like we planned to. Unless by some miracle, I get another job before January. I just hate that this is derailing our plans to move in together.
Oh and real estate school. My boss had been sponsoring me to go to real estate school for free. I still have a month left before the final and state exam. I talked to his assistant today and she said that I can still finish school for free. And if I wanted to drop out, that’s fine too. I don’t owe them anything.
So now I’m torn. I just feel like finishing school is pointless because I never really planned to become a real estate agent. I only went to school because I thought it would help me do my current job better and also because I thought it might entice him to give me a raise, if I had more qualifications.
I just…I don’t know what to do. I want to drop out but…part of me is like “Go ahead and finish.” Plus my family and friends want me to finish as well.
Sigh. We were supposed to have class tonight but I skipped it. I just couldn’t handle the thought of going to school. It’ll remind me that I lost my job and I don’t want to start crying in class.
I still can’t believe this happened to me. Other than applying to jobs…what do I do now? What do I do with all this free time? I don’t know how to fill my days. I feel lost.