(Closed) Lost what I thought was a very good friend after / due to wedding…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Before I try to read this, you need paragraphs. Please go and hit the enter button a few times while you can still edit.

Post # 5
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I want to read this but it is soo hard without paragraphs!!!


Post # 6
3943 posts
Honey bee

That hurt my eyes.

So, let me get this straight. This girl flirted with your boyfriend, and then you asked her to be a bridesmaid? Then she gave your hairdresser extra money so you sent her a scathing text message to which she hasnt responded to?

I’m confused. It sounds like you never really cared for this girl anyways, so I am not sure why you had her in the wedding and why you want to continue a friendship with her.

Post # 7
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It was really hard to read but I did get through it.  I can understand being hurt and upset hearing about drama and hurtful things said that can sometimes change how you see your big day.  I had my perfect wedding. There was not drama that I knew of and I didn’t see anything wrong with it until a few months after when my dad mentioned my SIL was upset because I didn’t have a special meal for my nieces and nephew ready.  I apologized because I hadn’t honestly throught about it but I was still upset.  It was something associated with the wedding that upset somebody and I didn’t want anything negative associated with the day.

My advice would be to end the friendship.  It sounds like you were leaning that way before getting engaged but didn’t want to “rock the boat”.  Well, consider the boat rocked and take this opportunity to make some new friends and surround yourself with people who respect and support you no matter what.

Post # 8
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@SM7137:  Ok. I still don’t get it, even after the inserted paragraphs. 

What exactly is the problem? You keep saying that you just “tolerated” her through out your friendship because of your proximity to each other, and now you are shocked that she…did…what? Tipped the hair stylist?

If she gossips about everyone and their mother, and you hear that, didn’t you just assume that she would gossip about you?

Going back to the original question: What exactly are you complaining about? Can you do bullet points so we can help you out? 

EDIT: JW, why did you delete the whole paragraph? 

Post # 9
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Ok, what I got from this was

  1. you were married 2 months ago and this is still bothering you
  2. you have been friends with your neighbor for 5 years
  3. This friend has acted inapropiately enough to cause issues in your relationship with your SO
  4. She talks badly about people behind their backs and it makes you wonder what she says about you; this has destroyed your trust in her
  5. You were (understandably) super excited about getting engaged/married and your friend was pretty meh about it
  6. You still resented some of her previous behavior, but tried to put it aside so that she could stand up with you on your day
  7. She ditched pre-wedding activities 
  8. she bailed on you after the rehersal and guest accomodations were planned at her house causing you to scramble on your wedding day
  9. She had some kind of secret transaction with the hairdresser on your wedding day and after money came up he started acting odd. He seemed to resent your custom which seemed confirmed when he avoided all further communication with you.
  10. After the wedding you sent her an accusatory text, and from what I can tell she hasn’t responded.

Honestly if I were you I would attribute 9 to 4, it is highly possible that she said something deragatory to the hairdresser about you during one of her previous appointments. Looking at points 3, 4, and 6 I’m not entirely sure why you would want to continue this friendship. She has hurt you, broken your trust, and there has been a communication breakdown. It might be best to cut your losses, put this in the past and move on with your awesome married life. I know its really hard to lose a close friend, I just lost my only female best friend earlier this year, but life does go on and I’m happier than ever. Why dwell on this and continue to give her power to make you unhappy?

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