Lots of RSVP no's and feeling sad

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

If you’re sad because of the people that RSVP’d no what will all your yes RSVPers think? Be humbled and grateful for them and celebrate the day for what its worth! Turn this into a life lesson for yourself. We all have things we get invited to that we don’t necessarily want to attend but perhaps later in life you can look back on this and show up for somebody you wouldn’t normally want to because you know the feeling. 

Stay positive and humbled and it will all work out 🙂

Post # 3
59 posts
Worker bee

I know how you feel.  We had an engagement and it was the first party our family had ever made.  We had about 60 people and it started at 4 by 7 mostly everyone was gone.  I felt like they just ate the food and cake and left.  so I know how you feel. 

If its not too late, maybe you can invite people you had to take out of the original wedding list.  If not think of the important part, your going to marry the person you love and I’m sure you’ll have a great time no matter how many people show up.  

Plus is the venue isn’t huge and you know how to fix the tables no one will notice you’re missing a couple people.  <br /><br />Cheer up 🙂

Post # 4
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I can understand how you feel. Getting “declines” isn’t easy. You can’t help but feel hurt. Even though it’s hard to accept rationally, keep reminding yourself that a No doesn’t mean anything more than the person can’t make it. They still love you and want to support you!! And yes, you’ll still be married at the end of the day! Trust me, you’ll be so happy on the day, it won’t matter.

Post # 5
805 posts
Busy bee

newcitylights:  Aw yeah, I would be bummed too. But, you said you knew that logisitically it was problematic for people, so maybe that just has more of an effect than you expected. It will still be lovely, I think on the day you’ll be too busy enjoying the people who are there to worry about the ones who aren’t. Tbh, I had a 4/5 hour engagement party with about 60 people and genuinely felt like I didn’t have nearly enough time to talk to everyone, am sure you’ll be occupied more than enough!

Post # 6
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m sorry 🙁 it hurts when somebody you really want to be there (let alone 40) can’t make it. Hopefully all your most closest friends and family can be there, that’s the main thing!!

Hope you feel better soon, and remember at the end of the day it’s really about you and your husband-to-be, and just focus on those 40-50 who can make it on your special day!

Post # 7
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

newcitylights:  Our wedding had about that number (45-50) and it was perfect! Just the right balance of small and intimate, but still enough guests to still have a fun dance party in the evening. 🙂 You will also have extra time to chat and mingle with all the people who will be coming to your wedding. Everyone always complains that they hardly got to talk to anyone at the wedding day, but we got to spend lots of time with our guests. Plus the food and drink costs were so much more reasonable! With the money we saved we were able to pamper all of our guests with an 8 course meal, full open bar and cocktails, awesome pre-events and lots more wonderful things. Silver linings and all that!

Post # 8
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We invited a little over 80, were expecting 60, and ended up with 45.  It was disappointing at first, but it ended up being great.  As it was I felt like I didn’t have enough time to really visit with everyone so I can’t imagine having had even more people to get around to.  A lot of the people who couldn’t come also still sent cards with their well wishes.  Hope you have a great wedding and try not to take the RSVP list too personally!

Post # 9
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We had always wanted small and intimate so we invited 50 and 42 RSVP’d yes and we had 100% attendance from those who RSVP’d. People are still talking about our wedding. No matter the size, if you are properly hosting your guests, providing delicious food, and have music you are set! I know it can be disappointing. I had a couple of people who declined that really bummed me out, but they had amazing vacations planned so I understood. It still hurts, though. 

Post # 10
716 posts
Busy bee

This is my great fear, lots of no replies.  What’s so complicated about your logistics?  The only thing I can think to say is that we should all remember to respect the invitations that we receive and do our best to turnout for people.

Post # 11
8 posts

Funny—but this would be a dream come true to me! I love small, intimate weddings! It will be beautiful and full of people that truly adore you! Cheer up!

Post # 12
164 posts
Blushing bee

Same here, but bigger scale — 

Invited 300+, expected 200, getting around 140. 

I was crying about it this week and felt really alone/unloved. (yes I know 140 is big, but I’ve always been proud of my huge family, and only ~20 family members [including little ones] are coming from my side.) Turns out we’ll just have more quality time with the people that are coming! 🙂 And I think a lot of the crying was from PMS hormones and exhaustion from all the working out and wedding planning.

It’ll still be a gorgeous wedding! Everyone will appreciate your hard work. If you want, you might still have time to invite the 2nd tier friends and relatives!

Post # 13
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I know how you feel. I live in PA and work in MD. None of my family lives anywhere near me, and most cannot afford to travel here. I knew not many people from my side would be able to come and I knew it would upset me. I kind of wanted to elope, but my fiance is an only child of a single mother and thought it would crush her. Our RSVP deadline is on the 10th. Right now we only have like 30 guests including our wedding party. I think when all is said and done, including us and the pastors, there will probably be about 40 at our wedding. The worst part in my case is that my dad died 3 years ago and the thought of him not being there makes me have meltdowns. At any rate, I am sure you will look beautiful and that the people who do show up at your wedding will be very happy to help you celebrate the new chapter in your life. (And just because some people said no doesn’t mean they don’t love you too.) And most importantly, you’ll be married!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  sjhanddab2014.
Post # 14
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Honestly, I LOVED my 30 person wedding. It was intimate and I obviously got to spend quality time with everyone in some way on that day. Maybe you can put the bug in your guests ears that it’s going to be a small, intimate wedding and then everyone will be going in with that mindset.

Post # 15
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


newcitylights:  Turn this into a positive. This isn’t a high school popularity contest. Read up about small, intimate weddings, and the ways they can be very special. Don’t expect to do exactly the same things as at a larger wedding. Lots of people have weddings around this size, and they are great.

The money saved means you can spoil the guests who do come. Talk to the venue about the room. Maybe they have a smaller room or a way to divide the room?

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