Weddingbee boards

I don’t know if everyone has read this book.  I’m kind of reading through it right now, I skip around to what I think would be helpful.

Anyways today I was reading about the love letters.  I was wondering if any one here on the boards has tried it out and if it works for them.

For those who don’t know what that is, MMWV (I don’t want to write out whole book name), suggests writing a love letter to your SO/FI as a way to deal with feelings you have.  This is mostly for when you fight with your SO/FI and you’re still anger or sad about it.

The letter goes as follows

- address the letter to the person
- anger
- sadness
- fear
- regret
- love
- sign off
- write a response that you would like to hear in the ps

Example (I’m making this up from what I read)

FI,

I’m anger that you didn’t do the dishes.  I’m sad because it feels like you don’t listen to me.  I fear that we are growing apart (okay this is a stretch but I’m making this up on the fly).  I sorry that I get mad over things that seem small to you but are big to me.  I love that you try to make me happy.

I love you, <your name>

PS.  What I would like to hear

<your name>

Thank you for telling me how you feel.  I will try to be more respectful of the things you ask of me knowing that it means a lot to you.

I love you, FI

The book says this helps a lot with figuring out your feelings.  It believes if you know what you are feeling than you can heal it.  I haven’t read this whole chapter yet but this does seem to be a very useful tool for your relationship.

Anyone tried this for their relationship? Did it improve it?

I occasionally write an email, just to vent really, but address it to him and then create what response I wish I'd get. Then I put it in a drafts folder, come back and read it a few hours later and see if I was being super silly or if it's a legitimate issue that needs to be discussed. It helps me put things in perspective. I'm really bad about just getting mad and either walking away, bottling things up or getting mad about something really inconsequential and blowing it out of proportion. So it helps.