(Closed) Love, Marriage, Baby… In that order?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: What order for you?
    Had a baby before I was married : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Had a baby before I was married and will have more after I am married : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Got married before I had baby : (63 votes)
    89 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2856 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    My hubby wanted a baby years before we got married but I wanted to wait. It was hard but I was definitely sticking to my guns. I did tell him “game on” once we got married. I had no idea though I would be having our “honeymoon” baby 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    College then married. Kinda hard to get knocked up when your SO is deployed and living in another state for 4 years. Tongue out

    Post # 6
    Member
    2856 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    @ejs – I am sure there are ways, lol

    Post # 8
    Member
    7082 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    We waited, though at my age there was plenty of pressure (from physicians and others) to just get the baby-making started before the wedding.  I was glad that we didn’t even consider it, since we were pregnant so quickly after the wedding!

    Post # 9
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Funny I had a talk with my 17y/o girl last night about this. My assistant is 22 pregnant with child #4 all with different fathers and married once. Not to imply at ALL that your situation is like this btw! I just explained to her that to My morality the ideal situation is that Love, Marriage and then a family stating this:

    You will be forever linked to a degree to the father of your child and for that reason it should be someone you would consider making the ultimate lifelong commitment of marriage to. Although surprises happen (she was one too!) again ideally you learn from that experience not repeat it over and over. Just my 2cents.

    Post # 10
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @ejs – I got knocked up while he was living 3000 miles away!  Those once-a-month weekends tend to be pretty romantic!  haha

    I have a 13-month old daughter and FI and I plan to have 2 more after we are married!

    Post # 11
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We had our son last June and are getting married in July. We had been together for 5 years when we found out about our little surprise. Life doesn’t always happen in the order you plan but I would have rather been married first. I could have done without all the comments from people and I think if we had been married we would have had better reactions.

    Post # 12
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    haha yes, there are “ways” but not ways I’m on board with! We had a no-sex rule after we got engaged because of the deployment+long distance.

    My rule: you knock me up, you hold my hair back Wink. Can’t do that when you’re far away….

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We’re going the ‘traditional’ route- love, marriage, (really, really hoping I can throw a house in riiiiiight, here!) kids.  

    To each his own, that just happens to be what we’ve decided but for no specific reason at all.  And honestly, it was kinda like- lets handle one expense at a time.  To raise a child AND pay for/have a wedding sounds difficult.  I’m so impressed by the people that are able to do it. 

    I actually have a good friend who ended up doing baby, love marriage.  She had only been dating her husband for about 3 months when they… messed up.  I think its rare for that to work, but it can happen!

    Post # 15
    Member
    3125 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    @EJS – haha! nice rule! I’ll be using that one for sure! Though the idea might really make him want to wait even longer to ttc, since vomiting is in his top 5 no way category. That would be on par with a hannah montana marathon for me.

    Post # 16
    Member
    631 posts
    Busy bee

    I never considered purposefully having a baby out of wedlock, but I understand that sometimes unintended pregnancies can happen and I admire women who choose to have their babies even unwed.  For me, it would be hard to raise a child without giving that child the assurance that mommy and daddy are fully committed to eachother and our nuclear family — seems like this is the best and most stable atmosphere for a child to grow up in!  But I also admire those who do everything they can when this situation isn’t in the cards…

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