Post # 1
Bees can you please help? My fiancee is not really excited about the wedding. He does not seem overly excited about anything. I ask him if he wants to be married and he says yes. He told me he would not have proposed if he was not sure I was “the one”. I have known him for years and I have never seem him too excited or sad. He is just even tempered?! Is anyone else married to a man like this? Is this normal to be happy and super relaxed? He says he is happy and I believe him but gosh where is the emotion? Is it a female thing to be excited and chipper about marriage? How does your BF, fiancee or husband act about the big day?
Post # 3
@Confusedwifetobe11: First off, breathe and relax
Next, I know many people like this, including my brother in law. He’s about the most mellow, even tempered person I have ever met. Some people are just introverted, or he may try later to show you that he cares by a) being involved in the planning process in a quiet way or b) just be there for you through it all.
I can understand the panic though, people like this can be a bit unnerving for us anxious types, but the fact that he has a calm center will help alot when the craziness of planning sets in. Try not to take it as him not being excited, but rather trying to be the rock you know? Im sure he is incredibly happy to be with you, otherwise you wouldnt be happy and engaged!
Try to relax, enjoy yourself as much as you can with him, and if you really feel like you need to have that bit of excitement just tell him you two should do something just you two to remember why you are getting married in the first place! 😀 Im sure he would enjoy some alone time with you and this would get him more involved in the process 🙂
Also remember that most men like to be relaxed and not panicking. Its like the biggest compliment actually. Men who are open, and themselves and relaxed are happy, not anxious and stressed. In that way its also a positive.
I hope this makes you feel a bit better!
Post # 4
@Confusedwifetobe11:Most men are not concerned about weddings. My SO only cares about the food and the cost:0) Relax, I’m sure he loves you.
Post # 5
My husband is ultra laid back in general. He’s tough to get visibly excited about stuff–just very chill.
He was completely 100% uninterested in wedding planning. It used to really bug me that he was unemotional (read: doesn’t get giddy over stuff!) and even keel but it really is a blessing because he keeps me grounded. It just is who he is. He doesn’t cry or get really emotional and I don’t even expect him to shed tears when we have our first kid. He’s just so mellow!
Now, if he hasn’t always been like this, that’d be one thing–but look back on your relationship and if he’s always been so mellow, he’s just a mellow dude!
Post # 6
Out of the two of us, my husband is most definitely more chilled and even-keeled. But he was excited about the wedding, he just didn’t express it the way I did all of the time.
Post # 7
@Confusedwifetobe11: FI is the same way, even the whole “I wouldn’t have proposed if I didn’t want to marry you…” which is true, but come on, get EXCITED boy! Like PPs have said, it’s good to keep me grounded when I’m anxious about something, he just lets things ride. It does get frustrating though when you’re planning this big celebration together and he’s chill…because I want him working on projects, too!
Post # 8
Oh my my FI is exactly like this! He also has said he is excited and would not have proposed if this is not what he wanted but he is in no shape or form interested in the planning process and somtimes even whines when I say ” I need your opinion on something” or ” I have a question for you”
At first I was upset that he had no enthusiasum for something that I am obsessed with and love and are so excited about. However, I beleive him and know that that is just how he is. I do wish to see more visible excitement but I also have to accept that that is him and I am marrying him and need to accept his perogative of no excitement.
Mine always says, ” Just because I am not acting the way you expect or want me to does not mean I am not feeling the same way inside”
It’s hard I know! So we are here for you and we can get excited with you. I always call my mom when I am excited now about soemthing because I get the reaction I am longing for from her and that helps out a lot emotionally.
Post # 9
My FI was excited at first and then nothing. I started to get woried to, but then about 2 weeks ago, we have 9 days left, he started getting excited and really pitching in to help.
I understand your annoyance though. I’m an outwardly emotional person and everything that happens evokes some type of emotion in me. I just say we totally balance eachother
Post # 10
@Confusedwifetobe11: My husband is like this! While I knew he wanted to marry me, and he was involved in the planning, he never really got overly excited about anything. And that’s what makes me love him so much. He keeps me calm…I’ve only ever really seen him super stressed out once, and it was my turn to keep him calm. We balance each other out, and I think that’s how the two of you are as well. Most guys aren’t head over heels crazy about weddings like girls are. So I think you’re safe to say that he loves you!!!
Post # 11
I think this is pretty normal for guys. Some guys (like mine) hate details. I am sure your FI will can’t wait for the big day
Post # 12
Sounds exactly like my FI. He and I have been together almost 7 years. The only thing I have EVER seen him get really excited about were a new vacuum and his fish tank.
Most men aren’t into a lot of the wedding details. All my FI cares about is the food and the alcohol. The rest is up to me.
Also, most men wait to propose until they are ready to BE married. Meaning they would be ready to walk into the courthouse and get legally married the day they propose.
He’s ready and would not have proposed if he didn’t love you and want to be with you forever. I remember hearing this on some TV show:
“Women dream about their wedding from the time they are little girls, men don’t think about it until 30 seconds prior to the proposal.”
He doesn’t have a “perfect wedding” idea most likely, he just wants to be married to you.
Post # 13
Hey, sorry to be the bubble burster but he definitely does NOT love you.
Just kidding. I guess I just find it weird that you’ve posted this? How are a bunch of strangers on the internet supposed to tell you if he loves you? I could ramble all the bad things off about my FI and I guarantee some people would say “run for the hills!” 🙂 It’s all in your heart, lady. Sometimes FI feels distant and I can tell then that there’s something wrong, but we usually talk about it and he returns to normal in a jiffy! 🙂
I’m sure he loves you!
Post # 14
Some guys are like that.
Once you’re married, it will be: “Hey, I married you, didn’t I?”
Some of them just don’t have the romance chip.
As for whether he is in love with you or not, we’re not in a position to assess that. Are you feeling that insecure?
Post # 15
Just like he told you, he wouldnt have proposed unless he was ready to settle down with you. I’m pretty sure that the closer you get to the wedding the more his excitement will build up.