Post # 1
Interesting article today in the WSJ about the difference between DILs and SILs.
“Because relationships are so important to women, their identity as a wife and mother is central to their being,” says Dr. Orbuch, “They interpret what their in-laws say and do as interference into their identity as a spouse and parent.”
Men, for the most part, don’t have this problem. Their identity as a father and a husband is often secondary to their identity as a provider, Dr. Orbuch says. As a result, they don’t tend to take what their in-laws do so personally.
Post # 3
Well then DH and I have wonderful chances. My family is great and he loves them, I tolerate his parents. My dad is a much less abrasive person than FIL and DH gets along better with my dad than his own.
Post # 4
I think this article totally explains why I feel so upset when my in laws do things for my husband that I want to do as a wife. Everything from making my husband’s birthday cake to even cleaning up after him annoys me sometimes. DH isn’t annoyed by my parents at all.
Post # 5
My in-laws are amaaazing. I don’t have this problem at all. We get along really, really well.
Post # 6
@chasesgirl: My husband gets along really well with my parents. I don’t get along with my MIL and we’re in marriage counseling as a result of an incident from my maternity leave. This article definitely explains what I see in our marriage.
Post # 7
@BuffaloDots: YES. I totally agree!!! I try not to get annoyed, but it’s really hard when his mom does things I want to do for him.
Post # 8
My parents are very sweet, but southern conservatives. My FMIL is a delightfully loud, kinda wacky, new age loving lady (his father passed away when he was 8). I love her…but she curses…a LOT, and loudly! I dont have issue with this, but I had to teach him that it really wasnt ok to use this kinda language in front of my parents. She was a very hands off parent, mine were the complete opposite. I def dont have to worry about her being overly involved in our life! Other than that, all has gone very well!
Post # 9
I have awesome soon-to-be in-laws! They are lovely people. We believe that you show the same respect to your in-laws that you do your own parents, brothers, sisters, etc. They become your family so you treat them like family. We won;t even call them “in-laws”, just brother, sister, mom, dad, etc. His cousins even become my cousins! I think we’re more likely to overlook small disturbances because of this.
I consider myself very lucky and my FI is super lucky!
Post # 10
This article kind of reinforces the saying “a daughter is a daughter her whole life, a sons a son until he takes a wife.”