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Like the title says, you can either love me or hate me, but either way I am going to end up doing what will make me and my FH happy. I've included below a few of the things that seem to be annoyances to others that I plan to do at my wedding
Ok, I think I'm done. IF there's more, they arent telling me to my face LOL
What are some things that people just don't understand that you are doing at your wedding?
:)
so glad im not the only one having security lol. my family likes to become overly dramatic and bring up the past at weddings and since im the "bad kid" in the family i can only imagine what they will come up with...i put an earlier start too and im also having a cash bar.
im also:
having 1/3 on the guests are under 18 (my uncles have a lot of kids lol)
not serving dinner, just appatizers and dessert
having an after party for the guests who arent ready to sleep (gotta finish those kegs somehow!)
having both our daughters all over the wedding. in the party, helping design stationary, in the ceremony, on the OOT bags basically they are taking over lol
Good for you. Like you said, the wedding is about you and your FI, not about anyone else so should be done how you want it to be done!
We are:
- Not registering (asking people if they want to get a gift to contribute to honeymoon instead)
- Not doing Save The Dates
- Not having a rehearsal dinner
- Inviting only some cousins (FI's fam especially not happy with this, they think if we invite some we have to invite them all but we def are not!)
I love this!
We are:
-not saving stds
-only inviting two people
-having a big two tier cake even tho there will be only four of us
-I am NOT wearing white
-he is wearing really nice board shorts
-both people will also be helping out with set up and take down
-not having a reception
-staging momments (ie first dance right after the ceramony ect)
-registering just for the after wedding discount
lol and Im sure there are some others *chuckles*
Hah! This is a good idea for a thread. Fun.
I actually think that's everything scandalous that we're doing.
Not having a rehearsal dinner makes my type-A planner self go into a panic. I need one just for my own reassurance!
But I do agree with picking and choosing what aspects you want. Though many places try to say differently, there is no definitive list of what must be done at a wedding! Besides the vows part. ;)
I didn't do save the dates. I'm not doing a garter/bouquet toss. My ladies are wearing black, which seems to be either people love or hate it.
Okay three things that I noticed that didn't seem offbeat to me- can anyone explain?
Spent at least 10k- The national average is almost triple that, so it seems like that is pretty common.
Wedding toppers in your image- is this a faux pas or something? I have never heard of that being weird?
Adults only- I read all over the boards of Bees who are doing the same thing, and trust me, wish we could do the same thing ourselves. So, does not seem too offbeat to me.
@melynn44: It wasn't just "off beat" it was things that seemed to annoy others and cause the most attack. And I can tell by your post, that instead of playing along, you picked apart my post. It was suppose to be a fun post for women who are stepping down their own path, so please don't be such a downer. Each individual thing alone may not be "off beat" to you, but being off the beaten path doesn't always mean going buck wild. And btw the wedding toppers in my image is an actual sculpture of our faces by an artist not just a figurine that resemble our likeness.
@sorrycharlie: I've seen a lot about those cash bars lol... I am actually doing the cocktail hour and the reception dinner will then be cash
I like this post :)
Here is my "off beat" things:
-Friday night wedding
-Break dancers at the reception
-Might have a Choreographed dance for the wedding party and us
-Not doing STDs
-Having Rehersal Dinner at home with drinks, finger foods, music, and games.
I think thats all :)
We had a MORNING ceremony
Had BRUNCH -
living is South Texas most of our family members were like "Gasp - where's the BBQ" so.....
IMMEDIATE family only! no Aunts, Uncles, Cousins
The guys wore WHITE tuxes
There were a LOT of other things that we did different (for our area) but everyone liked them.... =)
Paper Flowers Bouquets & Decor
Guys Wore Chucks
used Vinyl Records as Decor
No Alcohol
No Cake.... cupcakes insted
and had Worship in our Ceremony before DH and I took Communion Together (not Catholic)
I think that's about it..... yea... and it was Perfect for us! =)
We're forcing guests to eat at picnic tables -fancy ass picnic tables (like adirondac chairs, but picnic tables). I say forcing, because only my 78 year old grandmother is being offered a chair.
We're having our reception at a conservation area by a trout pond. There will be bugs -apparently bugs are very worrysome to some people
There's no seating plan
No dancing No speeches No headtable (in case you missed that my shoes will be perfectly suited for the dancing part of the evening BECAUSE THERE IS NO DANCING....and our first dance song will be the crickets chirping -yes, crickets are bugs)
I might walk down the aisle with the groom (I say might because this is causing a hell of alot of drama). We've been together for 10 years...do you really think I need daddy to give me away?
Our brothers are not in our wedding party, but will be signing our marriage licence
Cupcakes (not that this will shock you bees, but it floored my grandmother who got me some god ugly cake cutting knife)
...oh, I am sure there is more, but I'll leave you all to digest this
I am a member of offbeatbride.com
That's all I can think about right now. I would say First Look, but First Looks seem like they are becoming the norm so it's not quite offbeat anymore.
I love this! LOL
Our wedding will also be under 10K. I'm sorry but spending $30-70K on a wedding is pass ridiculous to me. Even though we are in a position to do so, it just doesnt make sense when that money can be invested in our dream home!
Partial cash bar. There will be a few complimentary wine/champagne bottles at each table. Other than that, they will be paying up!
I emailed our STDs
Oh and I'm with ya'll on the budget wedding as well... haven't gotten the final total but it was between 5-7k. Woohoo for DIY
During our reception, we are not having *ONLY* dancing, because FH and I are not dancers ourselves, and we hate weddings that have nothing but loud music blaring to the point where no one can hear anyone else. We will have SOME dancing, but mostly our reception will be game show themed. Our M.C. will have 3 podiums, and we'll be playing family feud, the Newly Wed Game, some variant of trivia, among others. We'll have prizes too, so we will have a fun time with it.
I also have 2 dresses, and our reception is more casual, so we're inviting people to come comfortable rather than dressed up. It's going to be July in Washington DC which means humidity galore.
I love offbeat details :) I'm not as offbeat as some, but I DID just join the tribe on OffBeat Bride! (Heard about it from Miss Tattoo and I've been hooked ever since!)
We aren't doing save the dates- seems like a waste of paper to me.
We're writing our ceremony almost entirely from scratch, and there will be no references to religion.
We're working on ways to work in our support of marriage equality issues.
I'm pretty sure I'm having a Bride's Guy... if my fiance doesn't steal him as a groomsman! (We're both close with him, but Mr. Fish has way more people on his side than I do, so I'm probably going to reclaim him because his was my friend first, dammit!).
There are more... but I'm logging out of work and going HOMEEE.
-no rehearsal dinner
-games during the reception
-doing our own flowers (live) -- yes i am making my own bouquet 2 days before the wedding
-trying to work it out that we have a sword arch--but it may be a multi branch sword and/or saber arch (totally officially uncool, but we might do it anyway). (2 marines, 1 or 2 army, 1 or 2 navy-- the air force and coasties we invited don't want to wear their uniforms)
I like these threads. :)
There's probably more, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head!
We are having a surprise wedding so that is fairly offbeat to begin with because people will be thinking it ia an engagement party until my Dad announces the engagement is off but if eveyone want to fill their glasses and move out the front, we will be getting married instead. But other stuff that is off beat
1. Its being done at my parents house
2. Not having a professional photographer, a friend of mine from university is an excellent photographer and we asked him to do it- couldn't come at $2k for photos.
3. No STD obviously
4. Will only be doing engagement invites.
5. Probably will either wear a tea length dress or an everyday formal dress that is the right colour.
6. Only having on attendant each and my MOH will decide what she wears.
7. We will design my engagement and our wedding bands at the same time.
8. My mom and I are making the cupcakes and cutting cake.
9. I will wear flats as I am heel-intolerant
10. No registry
11. No Bachelor or Bachelorette Partys but will do something quiet with our people i.e my mom, MIL, MOH, SIL and my MOH mom may go to a spa and FI, FIL BM, my dad and brother willk do something together. But not the traditional strippers, stupid drunk brides with condoms on their heads or anything relating to 'One last night of freedom'.
There will be many more just because of how we are doing our wedding.
@suprise84: Yay, that sounds awesome!
@MonAmi: I know, right? I am a firm believer in inclusivity when it comes to desserts. :)
Great thread! It is fun thinking about ways that we plan to be unique!
1. Immediate family and close friends only (about 60 folks)
2. Two good friends are doing the photography
3. Scrabble save the dates- not b/c it is the main theme- just because we both love Scrabble
4. Our children are our wedding party
5. Probably will either wear a tea length wedding dress/ no veil- but I do want flowers in my hair
6. Asking our family-community to participate in the vows
7. We are getting married in a conservatory and our family will line the aisle as we walk toward one another.
8. We will jump the broom! (I am really excited about that one)
9. No DJ/ no catered food at reception- family and close friends are assisting with a playlist and we are doing a Mexican taco/nacho bar (close family friend is catering)- we will also have a candy bar :)
10. No registry
11. Rather than a honeymoon- we are doing a "Familymoon" - we are all staying in a hotel and we are planning pre and post wedding activities that involve our kids... we plan to go somewhere by ourselves for our 1st anniversary though.
12. No Rehersal dinner or Bachelor or Bachelorette Partys- instead, we are thinking of doing a friends and family bowling nite!
I lovee obb!
let's see
I feel like there are more... but I still have 4 months :)
some of the things i've been planning probably aren't offbeat to the hive :-) but among my family members - boy oh boy! have they been like "what???" they are so caught up in their own ways....lol :-)
there's probably more but thats all i can think of right now....
Oh, I have a bunch of things that are on this thread that I didn't realize are offbeat! Oh well, call me different :)
Here's what we're doing that's pretty offbeat:
This is a fun thread! We're not doing too much that could be considered offbeat... though some of our family members may think otherwise!
- No programs (waste of money, waste of time when compared with the gajillion other things I want to do)
- No dollar dance (though I've not seen this elsewhere, I've heardd it's fairly common!)
- Photographer is a semi-professional friend of MOH
- DJ is a friend of one of our BMs
- Brides will wear their own choice of dress styles (though all will be same designer, length, color and fabric)
- Brides will wear their own choice of shoes and shoe colors (within our color scheme)
- I'm not wearing heels (I hate them, and we're getting married outside, and FI is 1" shorter than me in bare feet!)
- No bouts
- Buffet-style dinner (common among my friends, but it'll make our families' eyebrows raise)
- Cupcakes instead of cake (FFIL is totally baffled about this)
- Ceremony and reception in the same place (it seems easiest to me but I've not been to one wedding where this has been the case!)
- Not really taking desperate measures to cover up my tattoo (small and on my back shoulder)
- No standard cardbox (using a birdcage from our caterer)
- No liquor (beer and wine only open bar)
What I like best is that a lot of this stuff that would have been TOTALLY offbeat 5-10 years ago is making lots of posters go, why is this offbeat? Yay for individualized weddings!
Perfect topic for my first post I think!!
* Our ceremony isn't until 9.30pm (hence my name) so we are having the dinner portion of our reception BEFORE our ceremony (shock horror! everyone thinks I'm crazy but I don't care) and of course all of our photos will be done earlier in the day as well.
* No save the dates.
* No flowers, wedding cake, or first dance, and as few speeches as possible.
* A dress that isn't entirely white, only cost $300, and is sold as a prom dress not a wedding dress, but it's AWESOME!!!
* A very large number of our relatives will not be invited - we've agreed to only invite people that we have both spent time with during our relationship.
* Uneven bridal party, I have 3 BMs and he is having a best man only.
* No registry. However.. they are not common at all in New Zealand, so none of my friends/family will be bothered by that.
so far...
-it's in disney world
-only 18 guests
-my BFF is my officiant
-no alcohol (sparkling juice toast)
-no traditional reception... we are going from the ceremony site to a restaraunt where everyone pays for themselves (it would be tacky if it were a big wedding, but it's my immediate family and two best friends and it was their idea since we couldn't afford a real reception)
-no bride's maids or groom's men
Oh i love this thread...
We are
- Not having any real flowers
- No gift registery (no big department stores where we live)
- Having a wishing well (cash bar) to go towards a house, we have everything for a house
- Going back to work 2 days after the wedding
- MOH/BM wearing black knee length dresses
- No pageboy but further little sister in law as ring holder (only 14) (FMIL driving me nuts over a dress for her)
- Adult only party other than flower girl/ ring holder
- Only beer and wine provided
- And no save the dates
Glad to see im not the only one...
It didn't used to be offbeat but in todays "wedding"...enviroment(?) Mine will be:
-Cake and punch in the church fellowship hall after the ceremony
-Budget <$3000 total, not including honeymoon
-No dinner or dancing
-Friday afternoon wedding
We are however having a big party with a bunch of friends who won't be able to come to the actual wedding because it is during the holidays and out of town where we will be dancing (I'm wearing my dress again!) but it will be super informal.
@lwilliams107:I dont think she took your list apart, I think she is in support of those three things meaning she disagrees with the family or whoever attacked you for doing those three things. B/c Wwhoever attacks anyone for doing those three things is wrong. For example: A cake topper in a scultpted form of your guyz true resemblence should be AOK and ... no one should say anything or attack you or whatever regarding a cake topper such as that.... I think thats what she was saying. She was not being miserable or raining on your parade.:)
~! I didnt/wont have save the dates
~ No wedding website!
~ No kids! exception: infants that dont need to be fed or wont runaway.
~no dancing( venue too small:(, but on a budget so it was a blessing n disguise;)
~no first dance with family let alone with FI (1st dance w/FI still a maybe actually)
~ No garter or bouquet toss!( not enough BM, which I dont want a huge wedding party)
~ Small wedding part(dont really need one actually)
~ no dramatic send off, if so, a reall small one if any at all.( The park wont let us do any fireworks, seeds or petals:(
~No rehaersal dinner, just a rehersal lol:)
@SweetRose2011: SWORDS!!!???? And I must know, like fur cape or like medeval capes? Either is epic.
@chasesgirl:Well you asked so I'll post photos. It's a medieval inspired wedding so I'm making the cake toppers and they will be a princess and knight, and while there will be no costumes it's going to kinda be like a kid at heart theme for us. Anyways the swords are engraved with each reason as to why the GM is like a brother to FI (like blood, oath, trial) this is what they look like:


@Mrs Sarah McK: I hadn't realized that camping & climbing were such crazy ideas until people started asking me about our honeymoon plans. They look at me like I have three heads.
@CapeBoundBride: Ditto. Everyone expected us to lay on a beach on an island for a week. Which would have been awesome, I love the beach, and hope to take that sort of trip someday, but mountain-climbing was much more us.
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