Post # 1
I’ve just wrote this and deleted it as there’s too much to explain.
My Dad rang me on Saturday to ask if his invite was out of love or duty. My parents seperated when I was 3. I explained we have no closeness and that he never rings me just to see how I am. He said he wont be coming. I tried to explain that since I was a child he put the onus on to me and that his new wife and family must think i’m a right b!*ch and he said ‘Oh I don’t know about that’ SURE YOU DO, you must talk to each other. This says to me he blames me. On my last birthday 3 months ago, it didn’t even have my name written at the top of the card. Every time I said something like your parents never used to ring me, he would say well did you ring them,I said, I was the child from age 3 upwards and none of your family bothered with me unless I was with you. I was diplomatic and seeing it from his point of view too like, it maybe different if i’d been a boy etc. Though the more I think about it the more angry I get and may have to ring him to express it. I’m sorry for this but I wanted to share my experience and I know i’m not giving the full story so I may come across as being the bad person.
Post # 4
@Running Elley: Thanks. Glad you agree with my feelings. I know, I do not need this with 3 months to go. I am also quite stressed at the moment as my Mum’s partner for some reason doesn’t understand that to be included in the grooms party means to wear the same as what they are. When getting measured he blurts out to my Mum, ‘Well you’re wearing what you want to wear’. I mean, what!!!??! I was so embarassed and hurt. Aargh talk about unnecessary stress.
Post # 5
I’m sorry he would call and present such a question to you. The point is, you made the cordial gesture of inviting him, and he should be thankful for that courtesy alone. It is as though he was looking for an excuse not to come, and now he can “blame” you for it instead of be accountable for his actions in the past, or lack thereof. And that moment when your mother’s partner was getting measured? Sheesh! I’m sure he can handle wearing something perfectly tailored to his body for a few hours. 😉 Chin up, m’dear. Try to take such moments with some humor, wear your emotional armor and have their odd behavior bounce off. Surround yourself with supportive and good people.
Post # 6
@Cornflakegirl: Thanks for reading and the support. Fortunately I spoke with my Mum’s partener and it’s been sorted, but as I said to him I just found it a bit upsetting. Whereas my Dad aargh i’m still annoyed at him. I do feel like he wants to be able to blame me though.