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Don't hit me...but you aren't 33 anymore. Maybe it is just a natural thing of getting older/being with someone that long. I know we certainly don't do it as often as we did 5 years ago.
But i think a lot of women struggle with lack of desire, myself included (thanks bc). I have just accepted it. We have it when we want it and take the pressure off of feeling like we HAVE to have it more just because we used to.
@ejs4y8: Lol...I would never hit you! Urgh, I know...but I just miss that desire, ya know? And here I thought sex/libido was to be incredible in your 30's. I guess that meant early 30's. It's a bummer though.
I've just turned 30 and don't have a libido like I did 5 years ago when I was well up for it!
Are you taking any other medications that can be causing it? Any other stressors in your life that are distracting you?
I remember asking my family Dr. about how I was feeling in my mid 40's and he told me that usually it stems from something in your head rather than something physical....like if everything is good in your relationship, it will all be good elsewhere. I was hoping for a quick fix but he was probably right. The dynamics in all relationships are consantly changing.
For me it was temporary, especially as my kids got older and I was less tired. Barring anything physical, have faith it will again be what it once was. It happens to lots of women.
Haha, well some women don't like to be told "maybe you're just getting older!" :P
Maybe you just need to think about sex more. Pick up an erotica novel or something to pique your interest. If you're thinking about it, maybe you'll want it more. My doctor suggested some books by someone named Laura Corn =\. DH and I looked at them and laughed. We're obviously not ready to take on "sexy envelopes" and games
@stephinPA: Im 24 and Im going through the same thing. Weve been in a rut for a while and it sucks and Im not sure what to do. I feel like it was me who wrote this post!
I'm 25 and can barely muster up once a week! I'm awful and feel so guilty.
I did have several issues regarding a sex addiction previous to my FH. I was treated and went through counseling, and I had read somewhere that if you're prone to sexual addiction you can be prone to do a 180 and not want sex at all. It's all so confusing!
Besides that, I totally understand where you're coming from. I don't like when I read articles that suggest, "Just suck it up, and do it." My guy always knows when I'm doing him a "favor" and he'd rather not do it all if he knows I'm not 100% invested.
Good luck to you!
@PitBulLover: I'm not sure what to do either! I wish there was a magical pill.
@KateByDesign: My husband always knows when I'm doing him a 'favor' as well. Neither one of us are down with that.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I can't remember where I read about this now... it was an article written by a married couple either in a magazine (maybe Glamour?) or an online magazine... regardless. It was about how they made a new years resolution to have sex every day. Like... every. single. day. They write about how in the first week or two it was really a challenge because one or both of them were not in the mood and they really had to work to get into the mood to make it happen. Then after like two weeks they found that it wasn't a struggle at all and they both really looked forward to it every day, even if the only had time for a quicky. The experiment only lasted a few months because the wife ended up getting pregnant (oops... but the result of that much sex i guess haha) and she was too sick some days, but I think the moral of the story was that if you make it a goal, together, to just try that out for a set amount of time you might reprogram yourself to make it a part of your routine and actually WANT to do it more.
@ejs4y8: yea i thought it was a really interesting idea. although not quite interesting enough to read to FI or else he might want to try it out and i'm not sure i have the commitment for it. lol
@stephinPA:Well I'm 30 and to have sex twice a week is good for me. That's what I aim for, SO may like it about 3 or 4 times. Sometimes, I compromise but I work full time and I am not a porn star...lol!
@stephinPA: OMG we are lucky if we can do it once a week.
and we are in our early 30s!
twice a week is just fine!
If you guys are ok with the frequency than there isnt a problem. If you feel like he would like it more would he be open to other things that is still intimate but does not involve actual sex
Hi - I'm 47; so I've been there. I think libido changes over time for most, does for me. I'm also pretty sure in a year or so things will change for you - it did in early 40s for everyone I know. So just hang in there, the "rockin libido" will return.
@CorgiTales: Actually I think it was turned into a book - and I had told my husband about it a while ago.....actually last night we were just talking about how we are in a rut and he mentioned the book because he remembered it (of course) so we have decided to do this. Having it be a decision doesnt sound so sexy, but I think it will help a lot. We didnt have sex the first 2 days of the year so we have to make up for that but from yesterday on we plan to do this. Maybe I'll blog about it lol....
I also feel like I could have written this post but I'm only 23! I had a child and my doctor said to wait until she's 2 but that's only 4 months away. If someone finds a magic pill, please throw it my way!
I'm 27 and was JUST THINKING THIS LAST NIGHT! Hubby called out to me as I was walking up the stairs... and all I could think was "sleep sounds so much better than sex right now..."
We're def a wknd sex couple, as our work/school/gym schedule is crazy throughout the week... and i absolutely LOVE it when we do...
but we are def a 2x a week... 3x on a good week couple. (and that's up from my first semester of work/school sched... when we were averaging 4-5x a month!)
I blame our schedule and both of us growing older... DH is 29, but he's hit his peak already... and i think i've hit mine earlier with the craziness of life...
SEND ME THAT MAGIC PILL!!!
@missjyc: "as I was walking up the stairs... and all I could think was "sleep sounds so much better than sex right now..."
OMG, I always think sleep sounds so much better than sex. That is too much, girlie!
@stephinPA: & @missjyc: LOL with you about sleep over sex, i've been there
I'm 51 now and my libido is as strong as ever, but I always had a strong sex drive. It's my husband that is having libido issues :(
I'm having this issue too and I'm only 23! I just am NOT in the mood! Plus, the FI "attempts" at the wrong times...right before I'm going to the gym, when I come home from an exhausting day and I just told him (so, I'm emotional), or right when I'm in a time crunch in the morning and am running late. I just don't get it! I've tried talking to him about the timing and how it really doesn't make me interested, but I don't think he listened very well.
Now he's started to say "I'm done trying" as he walks off and it makes me feel so guilty. ARGH is right!
I'm 27 and FI is 28 and we're lucky to do it once a week. I work full time and he works 2 part time jobs and goes to grad school at night. With all the wedding planning stress/ other stresses I just don't feel up to it much. Don't get me wrong it's great when it does happen but it's usually on the weekend when I've gotten to sleep late and not had to work. Sometimes I really feel bad for him because he wants to do it all of the time. Hopefully this is just a rut.
@PitBulLover:ugh i could have written that post too and i'm also 24. let us know how your plan works out! i kind of want to try it, but it's a little intimidating!
Blah I feel it too! I feel a bit better now that I'm on Nuvaring but being in school and working really doesn't help things!
Yep, us too :( Mind you, I went off the pill in Sept, and over the last month or so there have been a few episodes of me initiating sleepy sex in the middle of the night, so I'm hoping it's a gradual recovery, rather than an on-off kind of thing!
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Long story short, I met my husband when I was 33 and had a rockin' libido for two years. Then my dog died and it was very traumatic for me ( i was 35) Sex drive dropped off a cliff. Could be stress from my dog passing, hormones, etc. But ever since then, I just can't seem to feel the desire to have sex like I used to. Now I'm 38 and we used to have sex all of the time and now it's like twice a week. Once I'm in the groove, I'm completely into it...it's just getting me there. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with my Gyno about this, changed up my birth control and it just doesn't seem to help.
I think about sex with the hubs and love it but again, it's just getting me to that point.
Can anyone relate? Any suggestions? And yes, we definitely spice things up with fun, playful activites, porn, etc. So we have been down that avenue.
Thanks in advance, ladies.