- 4 years ago
I apologize for the lenth! But your input would be phenomenal.
My three beautiful cousins are three of my beautiful maids, one of which is the MoH. Now I’m torn on #4. I am unsure whether I should pick a friend and roommate from college or my brother’s long-term GF. Both of which live two hours away from me. Or I could pick my fiance’s youngest sister.
Friend: She was my roommate for my last semester in college. It was her first semester as a transfer student. We have so much in common and we instantly clicked. She’s super fun, outgoing, and completely relates to my level of silliness. We both have faced very similar circumstances: both of our moms battled breast cancer and we both lost our fathers early this year. I haven’t stayed in touch with her nearly as much as I should have since I graduated and moved, but it’s one of those friendships that we easily pick right back up whenever we see each other. My FI loves her, too. We were like the three musketeers, always hanging out and adventuring together. (And he is pretty sure that she will throw me an insane bachelorette party.) However, she is still in school so asking her would mean she would have to take a week off school for the wedding. And my mom doesn’t think she’s “close enough” to be a BM considering we haven’t been friends for very long.
GF: My brother and the GF have a daughter, and are talking about getting married when he is done with school (in a year). I feel like asking her to be a part of the wedding party would go a long way into showing her that I consider her family. (They both felt like outcasts when they revealed that they were having a baby outside of marraige, but in my parent’s defense, they waited until 3 months before the baby was born to finally drop that bomb.) With them living in another city, we don’t see them as often as we would like, but I want her to know that I still consider her a friend and I am delighted to consider her a sister. We just spent a week together at a family reunion, and we had lots of fun together. Her two children (my neice and my adopted neice) are going to be the flower girls. This also begs the question of if she would be able to be there the wedding day or would she have to be more focused on her little ones (who’ll be almost 5 and 1.5)? She is also on the heavier side, and hates getting her picture taken.
Sister: She’s 16, and she has been a junior bridesmaid at both FI’s brother’s and his sister’s weddings. She’s nice enough, and it would be a way to join our families since he is not close to his stepmother (who is his (half)sister’s mother) at all. And he plans on having his stepmother’s son, his half brother (18), as his fourth groomsmen. But she would be the forced choice. (And I secretly find her to be a brat.) I also wonder if she would feel entitled to the role since she had a spot in both of the sibling’s wedding parties, even though she hasn’t said anything.
I don’t know what to do!