Post # 1
Ok so I am having a lunch for my BMs. There is a great place in STL for salads so I am taking them all there to thank them and have some girl time. My plan was: invite only the bridesmaids, and give them there gift then. (I am not a fan of speaking to large groups — weird since I’m a teacher (I guess I’m not intimidated by 13 yr olds!)) Well I shared the idea with my mom and she asked if she was invited. I said no. She was devistated.
Now the reason for her not being invited was because then I would have to invite my Future Mother-In-Law. I didn’t want to do this bc my sisters (and me) cannot stand my “holier than thou” Future Mother-In-Law. She has also said some very off color things to my family at the wake for my uncle, who died recently. So needless to say, its almost too much for them to stomach her at showers, much less a lunch that I would have for the BMs. I would have to invite the Future Mother-In-Law because my Fiance sisters insisted that they be BMs even after we both asked them to be readers…..a whole other story but whatever.
So my question is:Can I get away with inviting my mom and not my FMIL?
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Okay, here are my thoughts:
I think that it’s perfectly understandable that you don’t really want her to come, and under most circumstances I think it would be fine to skip inviting her, and only invite your mom.
However, since your FSILs are bridesmaids and they will be at the luncheon, it will be pretty obvious if you don’t invite her. If it were just your friends who were bridesmaids, it wouldn’t be a huge deal, but since your FMIL’s daughters are IN the wedding, if you don’t invite her, you will definitely risk her being insulted!
Post # 5
If you invite your Mom, you have to invite her if her daughter’s are BM’s. You’ll run the risk of hurt feelings and drama if you don’t.
Post # 6
As much as I understand your reasoning for not wanting to invite her, I just dont think you can get away with it. I think it would rEALLY hurt your Future Mother-In-Law and I dont think its the best way to start things off in your marriage. Especially since your FSILs are bridesmaids I think your Future Mother-In-Law needs to be invited. Also, I think it would be pretty tasteless of her to make any snide remarks at your bridal shower. It sucks, but I guess its just a part of getting married right?
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I totally understand your dilemma, but part of the wedding is paving the road for the future, and you definitely want to start out on the right foot, inclusive and everything. This is a tough spot, but one where you may have to bite the bullet!
Post # 8
Could you maybe do two luncheons? One with your friends and families and another one with your Future Sister-In-Law and FMIL?
Crazy idea? Maybe. You could also explain to your mom the situation…
You could also have your mom come 10 min late and exclaim
“O My I am late, sorry!!!”
“And then you be like Mom? What are you doing here?”
She will say: “Arent I invited”
Her: “Well where is FMIL?”
You: Neither of you were invited!
Her: O well, since I am here I will stay
and then proceed with the event…