Post # 1
Well, I have been lurking for awhile (4 months or so :)) and finally decided to introduce myself. I read posts occasionally, and was encouraged to introduce myself as I am wondering are there other waiting bees like me out there?
Here’s my story.
My boyfriend and I met last february (our one year mark is 02/20/2010). We’ll be moving in together in May when my lease expires. I knew that he was the one pretty early on the realtionship (about 6-7 months). He is the only person I have ever dated “seriously”. One of those people who know what she wants when she finds it but doesn’t settle before then, lol. Well, as to why I am here at wedding bee. My boyfriend and I have spoken really vaguely about the future a la “I want you in my life”, “i can see us growing old together”, “You’re the one, etc.” BUT, we haven’t really talked about “Getting married”. Sometimes I feel like that seems so far away, but really feel ready now. I’d say yes today, if he asked. The problem is I don’t know what his timeline is for marriage, I have no doubt that our feelings or at the same level. BUT, feeling like this is the person you’d like to spend your life with and committing to a ring and planning a wedding seem to be a world a part. I want to have this discussion for sure before we move in together. Not to scare him, but to say: If we live together, to me that means we’re on the road to marriage, and that I would expect that (engagement) within a year of living together.
hmm.. felt good to say that (or write it) out loud.
Sooo. are any waiting bees like me? Not even really at the point of planning engagement, but daydreaming about the future?
For others: what was it like for you to first bring of the serious (not vague, cause i’ve been there) discussion on do you want to marry me, and what kind of timeline do you see that playing out in?
I don’t want to say marry me now, but I do want to say: Love you, want to marry you, you feel the same, so when: 2 years, 5 years, etc?
Sorry for the long post… and Hello. Thanks for letting me lurk.
Post # 3
Welcome to the hive! So glad you decided to jump in!
Post # 5
Welcome to the hive! I didn’t join until AFTER I was engaged (I was so excited so I was googling randomly and found it…best thing that EVER could have happened to me planning wise…the hive is home!) but I wish I would have! There are lots of waiting bees and TONS of support for them here as well 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Welcome! Mr. S and I were together for a long time and both knew we were looking towards marriage before the proposal, but I still thought it was important that we not only were on the same page, but knew about how far down the other was before turning it. 😉 So I just asked him one day what his general timeliine was, and we both agreed that we would want to get married before I finished grad school… that narrowed it down enough for me!
Post # 7
Welcome!! Feel free to hop on it!
Post # 8
welcome!!! i think you should definitely have a chat with him! just say:
“Love you, want to marry you, you feel the same, so when: 2 years, 5 years, etc?”
except maybe a little more eloquently and gently… but it sounds like you have the right idea!
Post # 9
Welcome welcome welcome! There are tons of waiting bees. I lurked here for a good month before I started chatting and then about 2 months of waiting around on Weddingbee I got my e-ring so here’s hoping for you :o) Even if it takes longer you know he’s the one that’s what matters!
Post # 11
Welcome to the Hive! I think we all start there!
Post # 13
Welcome to the Hive!! 🙂 Lets see I lurked for a couple of weeks also before actually even signing up cant remember how I found it but I am definitely glad I did. I basically asked my Fiance where do you see this going randomly one day and it opened up a conversation. I do this every now and then to get some reassurance that we are still headed towards the same goal! Recently, I asked about a timeline and mainly because my father will be out of country next year and I will not get married without him. It was nice to hear that Fiance wants this year just like me. I am now just waiting for the ring though! I would just say be open about it but dont pressure and also be open on what he could say.
Post # 14
HIII!! I love the title of your post (Lurker) ha
Post # 15
Hi and a big Welcome!
The man and I didnt really start seriously talking about engagements and a timeline for getting married until around our 4 year anniversary… that was about 7 months ago.
My suggestion would be to wait until he says something again eg “i want to be with you forever” etc… then maybe subtly steer the conversation around to getting married.
Also handy to exclaim how some friends are booking places (best idea if you actually have a friend/co-worker getting married) and you need to book like a year to 18 months in advance. Men just dont seem to realise this stuff i dont think?
In my experience, if he is still a bit new to the whole idea of getting married then it might be a good idea to not push it too much!
Post # 16
Hi and welcome to the hive! I just recently joined and I love it!