Lying about donation: Would you be upset?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@AnonBeeLee:  Is there any chance they donated anonymously (either on purpose or by accident)? That does seem odd.

Post # 4
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

It is possible they just didn’t donate in his name, but still donated to the fund? Othwise, yeah, that’s pretty shabby

Post # 5
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@AnonBeeLee:  is it possible they did so annonymously or didn’t mention it was in honour of your father – they just made a donation without being specific?  If they just donated you wouldn’t know.

Post # 7
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sometimes people forget to make the donation “in the name of (your Dad)”.

Sometimes they intend to make a donation and forget.

Sometimes they say what they think you want to hear.

You’ll never know which situation was which.

Sorry to hear about your Dad passing away. We are never truly ready to lose our parents.

Post # 8
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well for one no you cannot say anything to them. What is the point in calling them out on it?

For two, they may have made donations anonymously.

I understand being hurt that someone would lie about something like that, but there’s nothing you can say or do about it. You have to assume it was done anonymously and just move on. Also sometimes people have the best of intentions and INTEND to donate and forget.

Post # 9
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@AnonBeeLee:  I would be upset.  However, since it was the majority of people who said they donated but actually didn’t, I would wonder if something was off, unless you know these people are otherwise shady in general.  For example, they might not have understood the directions and donated to a national stroke foundation or something.

Post # 10
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@AnonBeeLee:  No, you can’t bring it up.  Try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they intended too and then just never got round to it.  

If you want to be sly, you could slip it into casual conversation that the fund sent you a list of people who donated so you could send them thank you notes. 

Post # 12
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

@AnonBeeLee:  First of all, sorry to hear about your father, that must be tough.

Maybe they donated annonymously? Or didn’t completely follow instructions so it didn’t go to his name? I feel like I’d be one of those people who think I did it right and didn’t.


If you brought up the donation fund in front of them it may have felt embarassing to them that they didn’t donate. I do kind of think it’s weird that you wanted the specifics on who donated. I get that you wanted to send out thank yous, but I think people donating (and/or lying about it) is their business.

Post # 13
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think you have a reason to be upset, but I don’t think anything will come of it. Sorry OP 🙁

Post # 14
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t jump to conclusions.  I know you said no one donated anonymously, but that’s just in his name.  Someone could have sent a check to the foundation, without indicating that it was in his memory, and there would be no way for them to tie it to him / you.

Sorry it’s sucky, but please don’t assume that everyone is lying because I bet a lot of them really did do it!

Post # 15
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Did they maybe just donate without using his name or theirs?  I would be upset, but i would prefer to think that is what happened rather than think poorly of the people I have left that love me.  

Post # 16
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

@AnonBeeLee:  I’d kind of be worried that THAT many people said they donated and supposedly didn’t, like there was a site glitch or something?

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