- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
FIL asked us last minute to go to dinner. DH calls me and they’re picking us up at 6:30 b/c we both have to work late. I get home at 6 and the ILs are waiting in our parking lot. We talk 10 minutes waiting on DH…when he walks out of the house. Said he was in the bathroom and heard us.
We both run inside and he proclaims he has to go #2…Ok? Weren’t you just in there? I run upstairs to drop off my stuff and notice the computer isn’t asleep. I figured he came home early to take care of “alone” time…he mentioned this a while ago, that he comes home early on days I work so that he can do that…whatever. So I ask him if he was on it, he said NOPE! So I said “That’s weird but hey, if you’re gonna come home early to take care of yourself, you need to be careful! I almost asked them to come inside…what if we’d caught you?” He didn’t say anything but gave me a death stare.
I go outside and we waited on him for another 10 minutes. At dinner, DH doesn’t look at me or engage in any of the topics I’ve brought up. FINE…we finish eating and DH starts w/the rude/hurtful comments towards me. Mentions our recent (very secluded beach) trip and how I was stressed trying to plan it.
Yep, I was stressed alright…he ONLY mentioned it 4 days before we left. I scrambled to find flights, private lodging, car rental, airport parking, etc. but managed to get it all done…and we had a great time! He proceeds to tell them that MOST women would LOVE to go on a trip like this BUT NOT ME, that I didn’t want to (I was worried about getting the days off on such short notice) and eluding to the fact that I’m an ungrateful wife.
He also said the same things to me (during a phone call) in front of his coworkers a day or so prior to our trip. So now they think I’m some horrible wife. I blamed that one on major stress on his part and just ignored it.
He made a couple of other hurtful comments which I could tell made the ILs uncomfortable but the final straw was when I was leaning on the table and his elbow touched mine. He acted like he’d been burned…I know they saw that.
Went home and I had just missed a LD call from my sister. I talk to her 1x a month so I called her real quick. DH didn’t say a word when I got off and started to fall asleep on the sofa. I tell him he should go to bed, which he did and I followed.
In bed, he asks what my sister and I talked about…I told him her work drama (other people not her) and he said “what’s with you and all the drama? You must like it.” Ouchhh! Just relying a story, sheesh, and he wonders why I don’t want to tell him this stuff…he falls asleep, NO holding me which he always does. This morning, he left early and he usually kisses me goodbye….nothing, no goodbye….and he hasn’t called all day.
A couple we know had asked us (months ago) to go on a bike trip w/them last week and we didn’t b/c 1) he admitted recently that while they talk to him ALL THE TIME but not me (and I work next door to them), he thinks they don’t like me b/c of previous trips we’ve taken w/them and “how I’ve acted” or that “we bicker and it makes them uncomfortable” (these are HIS words btw) and 2) we wanted an alone trip. On Monday, the guy emailed him pics of the trip and DH said maybe we should’ve gone since a lot of people bailed on them last minute and it would have been fun. I reminded him of #1 and mostly #2 and he didn’t think they were good enough reasons to not go. WTF???
I just don’t understand the foul mood since returning. We had a really great time on our trip…so I’m confused. His comments seem to be targeting my character and it hurts.