Post # 1
I (without knowing proper ettiquette) sent our my rsvp’s with the wrong address, which happened to be my finances parents’ home. I live here, but my moms is 15 minutes away, and shes paying for the wedding and reception. What do I do? Should i send out an apology letter or just forget about it?
Post # 3
I don’t think anybody will notice. Forget it.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t stress about it. Most people don’t even realize that’s what you’re supposed to do any more. My parents paid for our wedding but I had the RSVPs come to my house. My mom would have been annoyed with getting them and then having to get the info to me. If you think your parents would be hurt, apologize. But it really sounds like an honest mistake.
Post # 5
My parents are paying for ours and our RSVPs will be sent to my house since I’ll be dealing with the seating chart, etc.
Post # 6
I also need to add that I HAD NO IDEA there was an etiquette about this…
Post # 7
I had no idea there was etiquette about this either… my parents paid for the wedding but I had the RSVPs sent to my house because my mom was too busy to deal with them.
Post # 8
@redness82: I wasn’t aware that was etiquette either, and if it is etiquette it is a dated one. Common sense tells me that RSVPs should be sent to the most convenient address, which in this case was yours.
The way to indicate your mother is paying, is by showing she’s the hostess on the invites, i.e. something like
“Ms. Anne Smith cordially invites ….. to the marriage of her daughter etc etc”
If the invites do not indicate this (and even if they do), make sure you give her a huge thank you when you do the speeches!
Post # 10
Nobody will notice/care. Nobody sits around thinking “Who paid for the wedding?!”, so I wouldn’t worry. If your mom cares who thinks she is spending a ton of money more than your happiness/stress level, then there are much, much bigger issues.
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Katiebug789: call your inlaws to apologize and give them a heads up about the RSVPs they are about to receive.
Post # 12
@Katiebug789: You did not make a mistake. Congratulations: it turns out that whoever told you that you were violating the standards of propriety was herself ill-informed. First, because proper traditional etiquette would have you trust your guests to be able to reply of their own accord, without needing you to provide a pre-addressed envelope for them, etiquette obviously cannot hold an opinion on how you should self-address those envelopes. And second because, even in those long-ago days to which so many people mistakenly ascribe awkward and unauthentic etiquette rules, it was perfectly correct for a hostess to give whatever reply-address was convenient for her — written on the invitation in small print in the lower right-hand corner, for the guest to copy onto her own personalized stationery when she replied.
Welcome to the Bee. Turns out you are doing just fine in the etiquette department.
Post # 13
you’ll be lucky to get any responses. Forget about it ….. they went to someone you know, it’s not like you used an old address.