Weddingbee boards

What to say...

My maid of "honor" or dishonor rather never wanted to get married, until the day I got engaged. From that point forward it was nothing but a competition - an incessant comparison of her relationship to everyone else's. There really aren't words for how awful the things she said and did were.

I wanted to have an engagement party, she said "don't be one of those girls who has an engagement party."

She didn't want to throw me a bridal shower, so she didn't.

The bachelorette party barely happened... it was only a few weeks after a horrific weekend camping trip where she tyrannized the group of three couples and complained about everyone - and insulted my fiance and my the entire time.

That trip was the point where I realized, I need to kick her out of my wedding: uninvited.

But I didn't want to create "more" drama, so I tried to just let it go.

Should have listened to my intuition.

We wed in July, and the only part I regret about my day is her presence.

A few months after, she gave her boyfriend an ultimatum, "I won't be going to any holiday family gatherings as your girlfriend." A final message that he better propose before Christmas - at least. He proposed on the Monday before Thanksgiving (LOL). Poor guy.

Now, of course, I am supposed to be her MOH. And guess what? She wants me to go to her engagement party next Saturday. Yes. She is one of "those" girls.

I so want to avoid this engagement party, and cut her out of my life entirely.

I realized through all of this that there have been so many instances prior (for years!) where she made it clear that she is not a friend - and I will never see her as one again. The only trouble is, one couple that are mutual friends (who I introduced her to)... and I don't want to look bad to them.

That's the only thing I need help with. She ruined much of my joy during my engagement and a good part of my wedding day - I know I am done with her. How do I end it and not look like the bad guy now that she is engaged and it looks like I am abandoning her when she needs me?

I think you two need to sit down and have a heart to heart. You need to tell her that you still have some very hurt feelings over what she did to you during your wedding planning, and you don't know if you can move on from it. Explain to her, that at this point you need an apology from her and maybe some time apart before you can start being an active part in her planning. Who knows, maybe she'll break down and admit to being a jealous meanie? But you guys have to chat about this, and you need to lay your feelings out there for her.