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If you're open to more modern ideas and you think they would get along, you could have both as MOHs. Or, if one is closer (to you in distance) than the other, you can discuss it with them and say you are going with Woman A over B because you don't want to stress B out. I guess it really depends on their personalities and how they would handle being co-MOHs or just BMs, good luck!
How close are you to your cousin? Would it be weird to have her as the MOH? Would she otherwise be a BM? I think a solution would be to have two MOHs. But then I think it would be a bit unbalanced to see one poor BM, with two MOHs. You could consider just having them all be BMs.
I would try to weigh how much it means to you to pick one over the other. Also, (I might be in the minority), but I would take into account how much it would hurt them to not be MOH, especially if you really are close to them and value their friendships. And logistically, is there a way to make one a MOH based on objective reaosning? (Like what Natakie16 was talking about with one living closer to you than the other.) It could be location, a less stressful job, one isn't married with kids, one has already been in three weddings and MOH in two -while the other has never been in a wedding. I'm thinking just some reason that would come across like, "Yeah, this makes a lot of sense, and wasn't weighted based on who grako5 is closer to."
For my first wedding which never happened I had chosen to have two MOH my cousin and my childhood friend. Now the person I'm closest too is my mom. She jokingly said the other day if she was going to be a bridesmaid. I had never thought of that. So I'm not naming anyone as MOH. I'm going to list my mom in the program as the MOH. Nobody but me and FI know about this. So she will be shocked. Plus the other girls will think it is cool etc.
I say if you don't want to hurt their feelings then pick both or none at all. Just be sure to ask them both within the same time frame. I was just the MOH in a wedding and was the only MOH until the week of. Talk about shock and hurt. It was like I didn't do a good enough job all 1 1/2 years.
My cousin and I rarely see each other except at christmas and she is a nurse so her schedule is pretty hectic. One friend lives in the same town and goes to college with me and the other just recently called me and told me she got engaged yesterday and she lives like 4 hours away. So I will probably just choose the friend that goes to college with me and I have known longer. Still debating though.......
Is one married? My best friend had the same issue and the other girl was married - so, she's the matron of honor and I'm the maid of honor.
pearl-shoot-collage-small.jpg (394.2 KB, 31 downloads) 1 year old
how about both; just have two maids of honor
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have both of them but make sure they will equally share the duty and attend to you. I didn't want to pick between my to besties so i made them both then only one of them did the work and the other was freeloading the title so i dropped her to a bm but there was allot of dramma things will probably go smoother for you.
What's wrong with asking them both?? I have a maid of honor, sister and a matron of honor BFF since Kindergarten. The more the easier it is for your wedding party to divvy up duties to help you on your special day!!
In my opinion, pick your one MOH based on how much you can trust her to do perform the duties you will be expecting. If you pick someone who is reliable and is more likely to come through for you, and this does not necessarily mean the one you are the closest to, you will avoid disappointment and drama.
Do NOT pick two MOH's because you can't decide between the two. In reality, there is only one MOH because only one can be the last to walk down the aisle before you and only one can stand next to you and be recognized by your guests as the MOH during the ceremony. I have been co-MOH before and I think it's a load of crap, and yes the second MOH was a total b-tch and utterly useless. I have declined being a co-MOH on another occasion and opted to be one of the too many extra bridesmaids, and the new co-MOHs worked terribly together and the bride wanted to "fire" both of them on separate occasions, although, that bride was very drama-prone.
My planning is going smoothly bc my girls are trustworthy and know how to keep me calm and sane! But, it's because I can't stomach drama and try to avoid it. Others here probably can stomach more drama than me.
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I have no clue who to pick for my moh! Its between two of my best friends. One friend I have known since first grade the second friend I have known since middle school and I talk to her more. Should I choose one of them or just let my cousin be the MOH.