Post # 1
I grew up as an only child, but I have 3 cousins, all sisters, with whom I have always been fairly close. I was a bridesmaid in all three of their weddings, and they’re 5-8 years older than me. They were all each other’s MOHs (they took turns, it was pretty smart).
My best friend is a maid of honor, but I know she won’t get anything useful done. She is a maid of honor because she has been there for me for so many years, not because she is organized or timely. So I need two. And I want one of my cousins to fill that position, because they have been like sisters to me. But how do I decide who is who fairly? My mom had the unhelpful suggestion of telling them the situation and letting them nominate the MOH among themselves (actually, that woul be matron). Yeah, that won’t breed any resentment. Or should I just have my best friend be the only official MOH and pick up the slack myself?
Post # 3
Have your best friend as the only MOH and just ask the others for help when you need it. I’m sure they would love to help without having an extra title.
Post # 4
@AllyV0621: How much are you expecting the MOH to do? You shouldn’t really expect her to be doing too much. The main thing is the pre-wedding parties (and if your cousins are 5-8 years older, they’re probably a good choice for the bridal shower but a bad choice for the bachelorette party). Most people agree that the wedding itself is the responsibility of the bride and groom. So I say keep your one MOH.
Post # 5
I agree, have your friend as the only MOH but ask your cousins for extra help if you need it. That way you can avoid awkwardness with choosing one of them. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to help out, considering they probably have more experience than your friend does.
Post # 6
@paula1248: The only things she’ll do is hold the bouquet and sign the marriage license. In fact, to quote her: “I don’t want the work, just give me the title.” Which I’m tempted to do, but a little miffed that she says it so flippantly.
Maybe I’m just being a bit of a Bridezilla.
Post # 7
That is a solution that for some reason had not occured to me! Thanks.