- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Ok so this kind of happened a while ago, but my Mom wants me to talk to her again and make up because we have been friends for so long, but I don’t want to. Her is what happened:
SO! My best friend from high school was naturally my first choice as my MOH. She got married two years ago to a guy who lied to her about being a legal citizen. Apparently his visa expired and they don’t have the money to go get it renewed or to apply for citizenship. Well he isn’t working so she is bringing in all the money to support them and two dogs they refuse to rehome even though they cannot properly take care of them. They live in a moldy apartment and she makes a little over minimum wage. Her church pays most of her rent and pays for her groceries and her phone bill. They are in horrible financial situation and she is sick all the time so they have a bunch of debt due to unpaid medical bills.
To help her out I told her I would fly them out for my wedding so she could be my Maid of Honor. Well I am a college student and my FI is a Marine who just started his innactive duty, so he too is a college student. All the money he gets is for school just like me. So, I messaged her on fb one day to let her know that I couldn’t fly her AND her husband out here, I could only afford to fly her here. She asked me if instead of buying one two way ticket if I could buy two one way tickets because that should cost the same amount and they didn’t know how long they wanted to stay anyway so they would find their own way back. Now, last time we discussed this she told me that it would be best for the wedding to be on a weekend because her boss wouldn’t let her have any time off and NOW she doesn’t know how long she wants to stay? I ignored that and told her that it would cost more to buy two one way tickets. I asked her if she would still be willing to come if I couldn’t afford to fly her husband here. She told me no. So I told her that she is no longer my MOH and she BLEW UP.
It made sense in my head because if she didn’t want to come here without her husband than how would she be my MOH anyway? But she was pissed and went on to tell me that she doens’t do anything without her husband and that it wouldn’t be fair for her to go on a vacation without him. I had to put on the breaks at this point. IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? That I’m paying for your vacation?? Bitch you must be crazy! We had had these plans (for her to come here for my wedding as my MOH) for months and they minute I say I can’t fly her husband out here it all falls to shit. Makes me feel like she was using me as a way to get to her home town for a vacation. I don’t know when she started taking advantage of people like that but I am not paying for her and her husband to take a vacation. I am not THAT nice.
Anyway she called me a spoiled bitch with all of my rich girl problems….in all the time she has known me I have never been “rich”, I haven’t even been well off…we have been MAYBE stable. The only reason I have some of the things I do is because when my FI was actively in the Corps he would send me gifts to let me know he was still thinking of me. Either way, my father was let off from work when all this happened which was one of the reasons I couldn’t fly her out becuase my parents couldn’t help either. She seemed to think that I could use my school loans to fly her out, but she was VERY wrong.
We both said some really mean things to each other and we haven’t spoken sense. My Mom wants me to talk to her, but I don’t want to. I am honestly tired of her calling me to tell me of all the horrible shit that she is going through when she won’t take the propper steps to get herself out of the situation SHE got herself into. Everynow and then I ask our mutual best friend how she is doing and it’s always the same. Her situation hasn’t changed and she is too stuborn to change it and she just bitches and moans about to everyone else while asking for money. We used to be BEST friends, but I don’t know what happened to her. She has become completely dependent on her husband….her broke ass, lazy, doesn’t do a damn thing to help out husband.
Has this happened to any of you lovely bees? How did you handle it? Did you all just grow apart and leave it at that or did you try to salvage your friendship?