- 9 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
Bees I don’t know what to do or think about these 2 situations.
I am the Maid/Matron of Honor for a wedding less than a month away that is half way across the country from me. I have emailed the other maids but they don’t answer. I am driving and plan to arrive the same morning the bride wants the bridal shower and bachelorette (she wants them to be held when the 2 out of town bridesmaids will be around) So after a 14 hour drive somehow I need to whip up food and set up a site for a shower for 25 AND then go out for an on the town bash. I would come into town earlier but I cannot take more time off from work, I am taking a week as it is to be at the other events. I don’t know how I can pull together something nice (I am on a terribly tight budget) without the other maid’s assistance. I’ve never even been out to that state!
So the other wedding…10 months out now is turning into my second full time job. I gave up 4 days to hand make 130 save the dates, cutting, tieing, tracing, embossing, the whole deal. No problem, I gave up a weekend to go try on a dress I will have to buy (thats pretty bleh but makes her happy) thats 170 and will need alterations and a very expensive bra (super low cut in the back halter top in the front-and this is after I reminded her and begged her for a dress to accomidate my 32F cup frame) again no problem, I can manage, thats what a Maid/Matron of Honor or really any Bridesmaid or Best Man does. Hand make cherry blossom branch centerpieces…ok, arrange the bouquets for 10 BMs and 10 GM’s boutinieres, ok. Do the bride’s and bridal party’s make up, ok. Make the programs, escort cards, and place cards. ok. Wrap favors, ok. Help with seating chart ok. Construct and maintain the budget. ok. Find vendors to include photographer, florist and caterer. again ok.
Did I mention I didn’t really want to be MOH? of even BM? She is a wonderful person and her FH is a great guy, they are good friends but my wedding is 3 months before and almost everything we are doing is DIY to include hand made wrought iron sculpture centerpieces (a little more intensive and time consuming than tulle flowers…altho those are a pain too!) and I am a full time student and work full time and run my own business on the side. I thought between trying to make my wedding happen and not go nuts I just didn’t have it in me. So I told her that, trying to be as gracious as I could be (it really does mean alot that she thinks of me that highly and were circumstance different I think I would be much more excited) so I tried to decline. She started crying. Full up balling about how her wedding just won’t be right unless I am her Maid/Matron of Honor its the only thing she wants…so on and so forth so I caved. Afterall she has 9 other BM’s to help right? funny how they never get mentioned in all of these activities.
But what has really broken the straw for me is this last "little favor" She bought her wedding dress. In a size that would fit me (I am 60 pounds lighter) The dress makes her look good but is at least 2 sizes too small and won’t zip. So she went and checked into alterations. They will set her back more than the dress cost (1.75 times as much) and fundementally change the structure of the dress. So the tears came again, how she cannot afford the alterations on her dream dress and she can’t afford another dress. Sigh.
So Maid/Matron of Honor to the rescue! I removed the zipper from the dress, reinforced the structure and added in a corset back with a ribbon incorporating her silver wedding color. I removed the snaps and replaced them with hook and eye closures. So she tried it on and it fits now and she is happy with that.
So she asked me about bustles. We did some pinning and figured out she wants a 7 point bustle. There is a lot and I mean a LOT of loose or missing beading on the dress because it was a sample. She wants me to fix all of that too. Well the layer the beading is on is sealed by the inner layer so I have to unpick the seam that holds those in. (Did I mention I am doing all of the stiching by hand?) AND she wants more beading added onto the train. Completely new beading in "Berry" so there is something to look at on the train. So she wants me to come up with a unique design and hand bead that on there. She wants that beading to blend around the dress into the front so that the bustle points are hidden.
She has also dropped hints she wants a destination bachelorette party–she wants to be taken to NYC(5 hours away) to see a play on broadway (she adores musicals) At least 4 of the 10 maids are students, one is a single mom, 2 are planning their own weddings and the rest are recent grads…cash is not our strong suit.
I am at a complete and utter loss. Am I being Diva? Are these normal expectations?