Maid of Honor on a Budget

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: As Maid of Honor what should I give (as a couple) for my cousins wedding gift?
    Give only what I can afford : (57 votes)
    84 %
    Go above and beyond as MOH : (0 votes)
    $200 : (9 votes)
    13 %
    $250 : (1 votes)
    1 %
    $300 : (0 votes)
    $400 : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @showmethebling:  I think that’s reasonable. I live on Long Island, where anything wedding related is usually pretty expensive and gifts avg. $100 per person.

    It’s definitely regional though. A lot of bees will say that’s too much!

    Post # 4
    317 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This is not your wedding, it’s hers.  You’ve already communicated that you can’t afford to spend that much, and yet it’s still happening.


    Give what you can afford and not a penny more.  If she doesn’t understand, she wasn’t worth it.


    Your mother shouldn’t know anything about your finances.

    Post # 5
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would say even $100 is fine, if you’ve already given a nice shower gift or two. A few of our groomsmen who are still students pooled money together and bought one of the nice serving pieces from our china pattern, and I thought that was really sweet. It didn’t cost them much per person, which we were totally 100% in support of because they had already paid for tuxes, travel, etc. 

    Normally, I’d say even just a card is fine for a MOH that has contributed a lot already (especially if she’s aware of your budgeting concerns), but your boyfriend is coming too, and he hasn’t contributed like you have, so you should give something. I doubt she’ll remember for very long whether it was $100 or $200 or more. 

    Post # 6
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I was recently a BM in my close cousin’s wedding (she didn’t have a MOH), and like you, have already spent quite a bit of money for the occassion. I also helped with various wedding apsects, as far as lending her items from my own wedding so she didn’t have to buy new ones and helping construct her flowers. So on the day of, my husband and I gave her a card with some money in it.

    Your cousin should understand that you may not be able to afford as much as one of her more “well-off” guests, and should be happy that you are standing up with her. When I got married, I did not expect my BMs to get me anything, as they had already spent their time and money to be up there with me.

    Don’t spend more than you can afford.

    Post # 7
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Wow, I would say like $50 is plenty!! Honestly, I wouldn’t care if my bridesmaids only gave us a card! They’re spending so much to be in the wedding already!

    Post # 8
    42157 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Bubbles42:  I would give her a beautiful card with your heartfelt congratulations. You are already possibly spending more on her wedding than she is. (I’m guessing the parents and FI are picking up the tab).

    Post # 9
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @RunnerBride13:  +1

    @showmethebling:  Give what you can afford!  You have done so much already. I don’t expect my bridesmaids to give me a gift at all!  They are already traveling to Maui for my wedding and that in and of itself is a gift.  I have been very clear that I do not want presents from anyone though, so I know my view is the exception and not the rule. I don’t know how and when brides became so greedy.

    Post # 10
    9092 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would also probably just give a card.  She should understand that the costs of being a maid of honour are often very expensive, and be thankful for your time/effort.

    Post # 11
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I gave my friend whose wedding I was in a nice card and a frame that said “bridal party”. I just wasn’t in a position to spend more, and as a true friend, she understood. If you can do $200 comfortably and want to, great. If not, less should be understood.

    Post # 12
    42 posts
    • Wedding: June 2015

    $200 sounds like a lot to me. I am also in grad school and on a tight budget. I was just in my best friend from high school’s wedding last week–I got her a shower gift and a wedding gift both from her registry, and a fun bachelorette gift. Altogether they probably cost me a little more than $100 (my FI also came to the wedding).  Now I guess I feel bad I didn’t get her more!!!! I also wrote her a long, heartfelt card and gave it to her on the day of.  


    Being in her wedding cost me way over $1000 though–I’m out of town, so I had to fly in for the bachelorette party, plus pay for part of that, and then drive in for the wedding itself.  Between the dress, alterations, hotel room the night of, and all the other little stuff involved, I don’t even want to know how much I spent.  The bride was always really considerate of my budget, though, and was worried I was spending too much. She knows that I couldn’t afford a lot. 

    Post # 13
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @showmethebling:  I think $200 is too much.  And you think you’re cheap?  I would go cheaper.  You’ve already spent way more than you should have.  I don’t even spend that much on my own siblings or best friends, even if I could afford to.

    Post # 14
    3084 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @showmethebling:  $200 is fine. I’d give that, if you can afford it. 

    ETA: I usually give $250-300 for a wedding. 

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