(Closed) Maid of Honor over reacting

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee

Man, how do you have the patience for this woman???? She’s manipulating the situation and making your bachelorette & shower about her. I don’t really have any advice but to be really nice to the other girls- they’re puttin up with a lot for you. 

Post # 4
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

wtf. tell her to man up and deal with it herself. you’re not involved (as you shouldn’t be) and it’s between her and the BMs. You don’t need her stress on top of all the other wedding stress. 

Maybe you can talk with the other BMs and have them approach the MOH to help the situation. I don’t know really I just know I could not deal with this chick.

Post # 5
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Dalmolia:  I’d send one email to all bridesmaids and MOH included, saying you’d like to take some time out to thank them all for being there for you, and supporting each other to share in your happiness. Thank them for planning the events to come in such great detail and for beautifully communicating their lovely suggestions among themelves and eventually to the MOH who will lead the way and carry out the plans effortlessly and elegantly with their help. Close by saying you appreciate how well they are working together and that you know that they are with you in wanting a relaxing, fun time celebrating at the bridal shower, bachelorette and wedding day itself. You can’t wait to enjoy this time with them in this way. YAY TEAM!

You will have:

a) taken the reins for the last time on this mess

b) petted MOH’s ego and kicked her fears of being de-throned out the door

c) thanked the BM’s for putting up with her and for their individual input

and

d) made it clear what your expectations are of how they best behave, tension free.

Then, take MOH aside, and tell her that you love her and know she will do a fine job. If she has any questions (read: worries) defer her to your mom or someone else that can manage her. You do not need to deal with her frazzled self, as much as you love her. She’s gotta calm the heck down but that is not your responsibility beyond this one email and time aside with MOH.

The only other idea I have would be to organize a “let’s meet” party where everyone comes together just for the fun of it and meets each other face to face, maybe making some wedding favors or other crafty thing together for fun. Keep it LIGHT and fun. Pizza party, casual, so that everyone feels super comfortable and at ease. This will give them a chance to get to know each other beyond the wedding and for MOH to see that these other ladies really are nice, and maybe create a rapport beyond email which is sometimes tough. Not sure if this would further ignite things or if it is even possible distance-wise, but thought I’d give this idea to you, too.

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