Maid of Honor Quandry (Long, sorry!)

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3014 posts
Sugar bee

@icanhearyousmile:  let it go. She is still your friend and has done a lot. I went with a friend and learned how to do the bustle bc none of her bm could. Not a big deal at alL. There is no moh checklist or score sheet. You will create unnecessary drama if you change Things. Don’t add made up titles or anything. That will indirectly say “my actual MOH sucks so I am promoting this girl”. 

What are you asking of her that makes her feel she can’t do her duties? Be flexible. Man. 

 

Post # 4
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@icanhearyousmile:  One of my BMs was super with everything and did a lot more than my MOH but I would never take away my MOH title. My MOH is my bestfriend and the most important to me (I have known her the longest and she is the closest friend I have-practicually a sister). Didn’t you pick your MOH based on something more than her participation skills? 

Post # 5
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

I wouldnt take it to personally. Some people just really get into these things and some just dont. I have had a similar situation and i was considering alternatives, but had to really realize that yes we have certain expectations when this role is given, but we cant hold those expectations that is only allowing you to be let down in the end. You love her and are friends for a reason, but she just isnt the “planning” friend 🙂 Good LUck

Post # 8
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@icanhearyousmile:  Honestly, given this morning’s text, she might be asking your permission for a way out of your bridal party.  She opened the door, so just straight up ask her if it’s bothering you this much.

Post # 9
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Seattle, WA

@icanhearyousmile:  To me it sounds like she’d be relieved to have the role of BM instead of MoH.  I think she’ll understand.  Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@icanhearyousmile:  In this case I would say you are the best judge. Hopefully it works out and no feelings are hurt 🙂

Post # 12
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

I do think that this whole process is a great test to friendship. But also to remind you and show you the different levels of friendships you have. I dont blame you at all for being hurt by this “lack of interest” But maybe this is something to show you what kind of friends you are. One thing i can recommend, is just dont take it personally. But if you are feeling really down about this, just talk her. If she is a good understanding person, she will be understand of your inquiry. If she freaks out, well bye bye.

Post # 14
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Yeah you need to talk to her girl. Its hard not to take that personally, i could imagine. I truly believe (and i dont think it rocket science) if you except a these roles, there are duties. Being there for you, not planning your wedding but being a support and she in living up to that.You wouldnt just ask joe blo, you asked her for a reason. Fact is, if you dont want a chip on your shoulder, talk to her. If she takes offence to this, well something proven?

Post # 15
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

she isnt living up to that**

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