Maid of honor's shoes worth picking a fight?

posted 3 years ago in Shoes
Post # 2
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


KeenersGirl:  Would it be possible to buy her the shoes that you would like her to wear?

I am not a fan of what I am suggesting but I think in your case it might be the easiest fix……


Post # 3
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


KeenersGirl: I went to a wedding where a bridesmaid insisted on wearing big, chunky, black platform boots with her long bridesmaid dress…. she looked like an idiot…..


  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  .
Post # 4
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Just crop her feet out of photos if it’s that big of a deal.

Honestly, it doesn’t reflect on you at all, it’s her style. And I think it’s sounding like she’s pretty insistant on her shoe choices. So, move onto more important things. This sounds like it could get ugly. 

Post # 6
8294 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

No black! With pink??!? Ick. 

But do compromise and let her wear a wedge. It’s a long dress- no one will notice. And buy them for her if you must.

Post # 7
43300 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

KeenersGirl:  If it’s a floor length dress , how much are her shoes really going to show?

I’m not excusing her actions, but is it really worth risking your friendship over?

Post # 8
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable to request a certain color. Is she having a cash flow problem? That could explain why she bought something on sale against your wishes.

Post # 9
4598 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Are people going to be seeing her shoes? If not, I don’t know if that’s big of a deal really. But, that’s just me.

I’ve only been in one wedding as a BM, and she didn’t care what we wore. But, our dresses were black and that is what most of us wore (I think one of the girls wore cowboy boots for comfort!).

I told my MOH (sister) and BM (FSIL) that I don’t care what they wear since they’ll have long dresses on anyway. My sister bought some nude wedges that she thought would be good in grass (park ceremony), and she could wear later on. My FSIL was worried about them not matching if they were not the same, so I told her that if she wanted to go get the same ones – go for it, but she didn’t have to. She did go buy them, so that’s fine. The dresses are a dark blue.

BUT, if you really want them to be different than what she bought – go shopping again and see if there is something out there as a compromise.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Kacie209.
Post # 10
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

At the end of the day, the only person who is going to look ridiculous in a pair of totally inappropriate shoes is the person wearing them. Nobody, trust me, is going to come away from your wedding saying “Great day, beautiful bride, handsome groom, wonderful hospitality, but heck, why did the bride make that bridesmaid wear those godawful SHOES?!”.  

So you have to ask yourself, amidst all the other potential drama that could come your way while planning a wedding, is it worth starting World War III over shoes? If she doesn’t take feedback well she’s not going to be changing her mind any time soon and actually, even if you bought her a different pair of shoes, there’s absolutely nothing stopping her turning up in the black wedged ones on the day. 

Personally, I’d defuse the whole situation by being indifferent to her footwear. That way she might actually re-think the whole idea herself. The more you oppose her, the more stubborn she’s going to get.


Post # 11
9546 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

They’re shoes. One someone other than you or your fiance. On a scale of 1 (someone sneezes during the vows) to 10 (the officiant is struck by lightnight during the vows) I would give this a 2. It is not worth the drama. Let her wear whatever shoes she wants. She agreed to get them in nude, so be happy with that compromise. I don’t like wearing heels for a whole night of dancing either, so I can see the comfort value of platform wedges. Plus, her dress is long, so people probably won’t really see them much. And most pictures won’t show her feet. Not a big deal, at all. 

Post # 12
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you’re being way too picky about the wedges thing…she offered to get them in nude.  Problem solved.  If she feels more comfortable wearing wedges for a long day of standing and dancing, just let it go.  I agree that black would not be my preference, but I also think that you’re wasting a lot of energy worrying about something that isn’t going to be a big deal on the day of the wedding.  It’s definitely not worth losing a friendship over.

Post # 13
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Although she doesn’t sound very supportive, I’d let this one go.  Really for the most part people look for the bride and what she is wearing, not the MOH’s shoes, so it might not be worth the fight. 

Post # 14
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you want to dictate her shoe choices, you should buy them.  Otherwise, let it go.  She’s wearing a long dress and no one will see them anyways.

Post # 15
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

“The thing that ruined my wedding was my maid of honor’s shoes!!!!”  …said no one, EVER!

Let her wear the nude platforms.  No one will care, no one will notice, and you won’t even remember.  

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