Post # 1
So many posts about Maids of Honour on the board so I may have missed this, sorry! Hoping someone can answer a quick question for me. I have 4 bridesmaids and they have all asked who is going to be Maid of Honour. I said I’m not having one – I just want my 4 friends round me as equals. One of them then asked if I’d let them know who was doing what in terms of sharing out Maid of Honour duties. I have no idea what these are? I’ve never been to a wedding with a Maid of Honour. What are they supposed to do that a bridesmaid doesn’t? I’m in the UK so guess it may be different to America. They all want to plan a hen party alongside me, which is great, but what else can I ask them to do?
Post # 2
fsm83: Hey I’m in the UK too. My BMs all got involved with the hen do but one took more charge as we travelled to stay with her, she then had less responsibility on the actual day. The day before though she helped finish off a few DIY bits. One other was the witness and the third helped me get dressed. You’ll work it out based on what they’re interested in / good at.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
Well, I thought the maid of honor was supposed to help you with wedding stuff. After posting about this very topic a couple of days ago, i learned that the maid of honor is just supposed to be the closet person to you. she really isn’t supposed to have to do many tasks, especially if she doesn’t wish too.
I think the safest thing to do, is to ask your MOH what she’d like to do to help if anything. If she is unavailable or unwilling, you can have the other bridesamids help or just do it yourself. I think i may have expected too much from mines and that’s where the confusion and trouble was for me anyway.
Post # 4
CatyLady: thanks. We’re not having one as a witness as we are having both our mums take that role. My bridesmaids are spread out so will all be staying with me for the hen do – they are givng me ideas and I’ll then book something. DIY might be something though, if they are interested. 🙂 Mainly they are going to turn up on the day, get dressed with me and walk down the aisle so wasn’t sure if I’d missed something
Post # 5
absolutely_tati: thanks – I had assumed my bridesmaids would pretty much turn up on the day and so was suprised they wanted to be more involved, which is why I’m confused what they expect. I think I’ll stick with no Maid of Honour and see what happens 🙂
Post # 6
MOH duties to me are showing up and looking good! If they want to throw you a bach party or a bridal shower, that would be a plus. For me my MOH and bridesmaid did my bach party and my family did my bridal shower. BUt honestly, if both didn’t happen I would have been okay with it.
Post # 7
SweetFlower: thanks, so no different to a normal bridesmaid then?
Post # 8
when i was MOH i looked up what my jobs were
Going to events the brides needs help at (i went to some wedding fairs cake tastings dress fittings)
Talking to the BM about detials if the brides is to busy
Moral support when stressing
Hosting bridal shower or any other naughty fun showers (lingerie party) and of course the Bachelorette party (thats the good one)
You help with the DIY if they do any or planning who does what to help with teh BM if the bride is to busy
On the day here is the big stuff *HOLD THE VIEL OFF HER FACE* this is something really important if you are outside and so many people over look it i had people going oh gosh you were so attentive and so sweet and caring i only even thought of it cause i googled and that popped up and my god i hope someone holds mine if its windy cause its such a little thing but so important
You hold her extras like if she isnt carrying a hand bag you have hr lipstick or gloss tissues and mints lil tide to go thing pins and needle and thread white chalk the MOH has all the little things covered
so i would maybe give each somthing one can hold the vail one have make up one have dress fix up kit and let them share doing any little running around you need
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
fsm83: You can say that you would love their support throughout the process. The maid or matron of honour is really the one that stands directly next to you and signs the registry as your witness. What do you expect of them? Do you want them to come dress shopping with you? Help stuff invite envelopes? Help with DIY? Do nothing except show up? MOH typically also organizes pre-wedding events like the bachelorette and bridal shower, as well as ensures that everyone is on time (if you are going more specific and want to). It is really up to you and your ladies. The typical response on here is that you are not to expect anything except that they just show up.
My man of honour came with me to look at a couple venues, but that’s the only extra thing that he has done with me. Everyone came with me to look at wedding dresses. He is otherwise organizing my bachelorette and that’s it. I didn’t expect one – it’s just him that has decided.
Post # 10
fsm83: I’m also in the UK. Typically, MOH duties here are:
Attending dress fittings with the bride
Going with the bride and bridesmaids to get bridesmaids dresses
Organising the hen do
Assisting the bride on the day eg helping her get into her dress; holding her bouquet during the ceremony; making sure the dress and veil are spread out nicely at the back during the ceremony; etc.
I’m having 4 bridesmaids inc a MOH, and I’ve also chosen to split the ‘duties’ between them, as well as include them in other ways. So, in my case their ‘duties’ are:
MOH: Hold my bouquet during the ceremony and make sure the dress and veil are sitting nicely; read out a poem after the best man speech (that she’s written herself; she wanted to do this)
Bridesmaid 1: Attend my dress fitting with me so she knows how to lace the dress up; assit my MOH with the dress and veil during the ceremony; present the rings.
Bridesmaid 2: Witness at the ceremony
Bridesmaid 3: Reader at the ceremony
Then they all helped organise the hen do, along with myself and my mum, and obv they came with me to get their dresses and to get alterations done.
So, it’s very personal but that should give you an idea.
Post # 11
laceydoilies: Hi, thanks -sorry for the late reply, it’s been chaos here! Invites are done and I’m happy for any of them to shop with me if they’d lke to or to just go on my own. We seem to have settled into a pattern of them asking me what they can do and me trying to think of something – I had just expected them to turn up and to have no maid of honour but sure something will come up
Post # 12
barbie86: thanks, sorry for the late reponse. Splitting things up seems like a great idea. So far on the day one will hold my flowers and one will look after my crutch (I walk with it most of the time but won’t need it in the chapel as I’ll be supportd by my dad and then my fiance), will keep thinking for the other 2! They can help me get ready, but I’m not having a veil and the best man is looking after the rings. It had never occured to me before I asked that they’d want something to do other than to turn up and look pretty, and I’m someone who hates asking for help if I feel I can do something myself so finding jobs is proving intersting!