Post # 1
I am know just engaged, and really debating on having bridesmaids or not. I love my friends, but I really feel that the day of the wedding is about the couple and not the hoopla that often goes with it. I want them to enjoy the day and time, not feel obligated to buy a dress and all that goes with it. While I do have friends and everything (it’s not that I don’t have friends!! ) I just want to minimize any chance of drama or problems.
My best friend knows how I feel about it, and she already said no matter what she would take care of planning typical “MOH” duties. I am her Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding, but she also has (at current count) 15 maids. I have seen and felt the stress, and I really want my friends and family to enjoy the wedding.
What are your experiences and pro/cons with having Maids or not having Maids?
Please and Thank you!
Post # 2
I really toyed with this idea too. All of my friends who were in weddings just talked about all of the stress and drama that went along with it. In the end, we decided to just have 3 on each side. I really wanted to be able to pay for the majority of the things a bridesmaid usually pays for so mine didn’t have to worry about that, and having only 3 was a perfect way to do that. I am so happy with the decision. No trying to fit the schedules of a ton of people, no drama. If I had to decide though between no bridesmaids or lots, I would go with none. My friends know that I care about them, and they don’t need to stand up next to me to know how much I want them there.
Post # 3
There are a few people we thought about for a wedding party, but we really wanted to keep it simple, so it’s just going to be us, the bride and the groom. There are some cute pictures out there with the bridesmaids and groomsmen, but I agree that really it’s about the bride and groom committing to each other.
Post # 4
MrsSpringer62: We only had a flower girl and decided against a bridal party about 5 months before our wedding. Honestly, we just didn’t want to deal with adding in any extra work or drama and wanted our friends to just ge guests. We didn’t find a single downside to not having a bridal party if I’m being honest. Loved the simplicity and that there was absolutely no drama.
Post # 5
We only had a flower girl and a Maid/Matron of Honor. I didn’t want the stress, plus we wanted a smaller wedding and a larger would have looked odd. Darling Husband decided against Groomsmen just because we couldn’t just pick one, but he was happy with his decision. I did ask my best friend to read something during the ceremony, but I just let all my friends enjoy the day.
Post # 6
I just posted a thread similar to this last night! Ultimately we’re leaning toward a best man (my FBIL) and maid of honour (my sister) and no other bridal party. I think it’s far less stressful than having dozens of bridesmaids all participating in the big day!
Post # 7
MrsSpringer62: No maids! Good you for!
I wish I had done this! Would have made things so much simplier.
Post # 8
I’ve decided not to have a wedding party for my own sanity. I don’t trust anyone I know to do what I want/how I want, and I refuse to set myself up for disappointment.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica
No maids… I’m not having any and especially after being on the bee and reading all the drama and how ppl don’t even talk to some of their maids anymore but they’re all over their wedding album and they barely want to look at their wedding pics because of the hurt they feel over a list friendship… No thanks!
Post # 10
We are having a smaller wedding and have decided on just a best man and maid of honor. I have a sister and Fiance has a brother, so they are really the only ones we want standing up there. We couldn’t agree on how many people for a bridal party and after being a bridesmaid several times myself, I didn’t want to deal with all the hoopla of having my own. I plan on still making it somewhat special for the girls I would have picked…writing them personal letters, welcome/thank you gifts, etc. basically letting them know that I am happy they can be there to celebrate my special day with me!
Post # 11
bkprettygirl: I have had a similar experience after being a bridesmaid. Which is why I decided on no maids either. I can’t believe weddings can get so out of hand that they ruin once-solid friendships!
Post # 12
MrsSpringer62: OK, 15 bridesmaids is not normal, and is a guarantee for drama! If you only have a couple of your best friends, that will be nothing like having 15, especially if your friends are reliable. I had only 2, and there was no stress at all. It helped that the choice of those two was very clear cut (my sister, and my best friend since I was 10), so I didn’t feel obliged to ask anyone else.
That said, my BIL had no groomsmen or bridesmaids and it was a beautiful wedding. Usually the Maid/Matron of Honor and best man have an official job to sign the wedding certificate, but anyone can do it. At my BIL’s wedding, two of the parents signed the certificate.
Post # 13
I went with just my teen daughter as my Maid of Honor. My husband had brother as best man. Considered a number of friends/relatives as bridesmaids. Looking back, I know I saved myself a ton of hassles by doing what I did. I was married within 4 months of engagement, too! Go with your instincts and forget about what society says a wedding is supposed to be.
Post # 14
If you want someone to perform the duties of a bridesmaid/MOH, I think it is polite to recognise them as such. It’s also very useful to have someone to help arranging your dress, etc. on the day. But it really depends on how you and your friend feel about it.
Post # 15
I have 4 ladies, he has 2 gentlemen. We just picked we are closest to, no asking out of obligation or asking people just to have even numbers. It’s worked well so far, although finding a dress appropriate for ages 10-30, and that everyone likes, was basically an impossible task.