Post # 1
Just wondering how the other bees are handling mailing things out to the A-list and then the B-list without the B list knowing they are B-list??
We’re really trying to keep it small so we have a fair amount of people we are not initially inviting but would like to invite once we begin getting regrets.
I’m wondering, when did you mail out your invitations to the A-list folks and then how long after that did you begin mailing out to B-list people?
I don’t want to invite too many people, but I also don’t want people to receive an invitation on December 2 with a reply by date of December 1, you know?
Any advice will be greatly appreciated!
Post # 3
Miss Seashell did a post about this today. I didn’t ahve a A/B list, but maybe that could help.
Post # 4
We had an A and B list but ours was a little different, more of a his and hers list. Since my hubs has a huge family, but ALL out of town, he took up 2/3 of the guest list. So we invited all of them first and when we got (as expected) a ton of nos we added to the B list. The B list was my family – mostly local – and all of our friends so we were never worried they would be offended, we were actually more worried his family would find out and be offended that we were hoping so many of them would say no!
We printed our own invitations so we had different RSVP cards with different dates so no one was the wiser.
Post # 5
@ladyox Love that the RSVP had two different dates. What a great idea!
Post # 6
@ladyox: I wanted to do the different RSVP cards, but since we had ours printed (Mom just HAD to have raised ink ya know), it would’ve been at least another $75 to have a different date on even as few as 25 cards so I didn’t want to go that route.
@thefuturemcbride: Thanks! I’ll search for that post 🙂
Post # 7
Contrary to popular belief, there is no way whatsoever to have a B list without someone finding out they are on the B list and justifiably being upset. Invite those you want to spend your day with and cannot imagine the day without them. Those who are not on your “A” list, send them announcements if they aren;t able to make the cut for the A list. It’s much more respectful to all involved in as well.
Post # 8
@Ember78: How would they find out if they are on the B list? I don’t think it’s impossible to do this without people knowing. And as we saw above, it worked out for one bride already. Plenty of venues have minimums, and if too many respond No then I don’t really see a problem with having a B list.
Post # 9
You can always tell your B list. That’s what we did. Our B-list people are co-workers of my parents and guys in my FI’s martial arts class. We told them up-front we have huge families and limited space available, but if people can’t make it we’ll be extending an invitation. Because they are more casual aquaintanses no one was offended and we don’t have to worry about the b-list discovery haha