Post # 1
Hey Bees! It’s been a long time since I’ve been on the boards but I have a problem and knew I could get help here!
I am a bridesmaid in one of my very best friends weddings coming up at the beginning of September. For some reason her bridal shower was way back in April. At that time I worked a job that wouldn’t allow me Saturdays off so unfortunately, I missed her shower. Now her bachelorette party is coming up and she wanted to go away for the weekend. So a cabin has been booked for Friday night and Saturday night, 2 hours away. I am at a new job but unfortunately I have to work again!! I have to work until 5pm on Friday and again at 2pm on Saturday and then that Sunday happens to be my 2 year wedding anniversary. If the bachelorette party was here in town on Saturday night, of course no problem I would make it but I just can’t make with my work schedule. And I’ve checked there is NO ONE who can cover for me (I’m also still so new at my job I don’t want to cause problems).
OF COURSE I feel AWFUL that I missed her shower and now I’m missing her bachelorette party! I told her I couldn’t make it and she started to cry and told me I was a bad bridesmaid. I FEEL SO BAD!!
ANYWAY, I’m trying to think of something I could do. I wanted to get a gift bag together to drop off/give to her before her bachelorette weekend. What kind of stuff should I include? Booze obviously, but what else would be fun for a bachelorette weekend? Or any other suggestions of how to make this up to her? Thanks so much!!
Post # 2
ashkat: You are not a bad bridesmaid. She is a bad bride for trying to make you feel bad for circumstances beyond your control.
You have nothing to make up for.
A bottle of wine and a good book on manners?
Post # 3
Sorry, but if your attendance at these events was so important to the bride, the host or hosts should have held them at a time, place, budget and city convenient to everyone, including you. The bride was unspeakably rude and self centered to say what she did. You owe her nothing and she owes you an apology.
Post # 4
ashkat: What a b**** for calling you a bad bridesmaid! You are not a bad bridesmaid. She is a bridezilla for demanding girls devote an entire weekend to her bachelorette party.
However, I don’t think you need to block out a whole day for your wedding anniversary (for me it’s often a work day anyway), so is going up on Sunday (or Saturday night) an option?
Anyway, I don’t think you need to give a gift to appease her. I assume you’ve already given a bridal shower gift and are giving a wedding gift?
Post # 5
I don’t know exactly how late I’ll have to work Saturday (I work in weddings, so it all depends on how things are going!) and they are coming back Sunday morning. (And my husband wants me home all day on our anniversary…idk why? He’s being silly.)
I actually never gave her a shower gift. Since I missed the shower I have only seen her once and that was for her housewarming party and I gave her a gift for that and planned on giving a little bit bigger wedding gift because I missed the shower gift.
Thanks ladies…I just feel ugh!
Post # 6
ashkat: How does being a responsible working adult make you a bad bridesmaid?
I’m sorry but you have a priority and that is work and in this particular weekend, your husband too. She shouldn’t make you feel bad becuse you have to do your job and be a loving wife.
I have a couple of bridesmaids that aren’t coming to my bachelorette this weekend. Shit happens. I can’t blame them for having other things going on! that doesn’t make them bad….it makes them busy.
If you want to give her a gift box with stuff that’s on you, but you don’t need to.