Post # 1
Here’s the history on the situation (it’s lonbg and drama filled sorry in advance).
My brother was married with three children. He and his wife cheated on eachother non stop. They were in the military and stationed in Korea. My brother would even bring his girlfriend around their children. My sister in law found out my brother was dating and “in love” with this chick and they got into a huge fight. The both ended up getting stationed in Hawaii. My brothers girlfriends husband was also military and got stationed in Hawaii as well. My brother continued to see her and lie to my sister n law.
So my sister in law was sent to Iraq but my brother got out of the military. (Keeping up? lol) he stayed in Hawaii and took care of the kids all the while still seeing this girl. Waiting on the street until her husband left and when he husband came home he had to jump out the window at some points. My sister in law gets back to Hawaii for her leave and sees my brother is still cheating. They call it quits on the marriage and my brother moves back to the states and in with my mom.
All the while still keeping contact with his girlfriend. She was supposed to leave her husband when he left his wife. He even bought her a plane ticket. For weeks after he got to my moms he would say “Alright she says she’s at the air port about to get on the plane” two days later he finds out she never got on the plane. This goes on for months before she actually moves to the states. Her mom lives about 3 hours from our mom and that’s where she went.
They were supposed to get a place together and every time she would have an excuse why they couldn’t. Or she just wouldn’t show up. This went on every week for months. He’s dating other girls but “in love” with his girlfriend and she keeps standing him up.
Finally he says he’s moving in with her and her roommate and he’s got a job. He gets there and the very next night he gets on facebook posting that he’s homeless now and she’s been cheating on him this whole time. Who didn’t see that coming?
So I call him the next day finding out what he’s going to do since he’s homeless and he sends me a text saying “I’m still with her, everything is fine, I just don’t know if I can trust her anymore.”
So that’s where we are now with their relationship. They have been playing this game for about 3 years now so it’s safe to say she will be around on our wedding day. So now I’m stuck… I’m allowing everyone on the guest list a +1 and inviting the kids. Do I need to make room for her and her child? I’m just worried that with all of their drama there will be a big fight at the wedding, someone walking in on the other in the back closet with another person type thing you know?
There is just so much drama between the two of them. None of my family has met her and he keeps saying “I can’t wait for you to meet her, you’re going to love her!” but after this whole drama fest, I highly doubt it and I’ve lost a lot of respect for my brother over what he’s done to his wife and what he’s doing to his girlfriend he supposedly loves.
So what would you do? Invite her or not?
Post # 3
Oh geez … All people involved seem like mess! No offense lol is your brothers ex wife invited to the wedding? If yes, I say don’t invite the girlfriend. My cousins bf is a huge asshole so I only invited her and my aunt, she rsvpd no but honestly I’d rather not have drama on my wedding day! If her being there is gonna take away from your day I say skip her!
Post # 4
Personally I wouldn’t invite her, you could always use the married, engaged or living together rule for +1s as a reason not to invite her.I think it would risk too much drama, and she’s obviously not serious about your brother. How do you feel about it though? Could you just say there’s no room on the guest list?
Post # 5
I think you just have to give him a +1 and hope and pray she is not in the picture when the wedding rolls around 🙁
Post # 6
I say not to invite her, that is not someone I would want at my wedding. Just not ok.
Post # 7
I read the post and I’m not sure. He left his wife for this chick, do you think he’ll post at your wedding if you don’t invite her?
That said I wouldn’t invite either one of them personally, they broke up two marriages and apparently they think it’s a joke, so I’m not sure I would want them there.
Post # 8
I read the post. I think if you are giving everyone a plus one you have to invite her. It will just cause MORE drama if you don’t, so don’t feed the monster. It’s your brother’s life, if he chooses to chase after someone like her that is his problem, but you shouldn’t use your wedding to make a stand about how you judge his personal life to be. Just don’t have her be included in family pictures, but I would let her attend.
I had nowhere near this much drama, but for instance, my sister and MOH is young, and she always has a boy tagging along. I would have preferred she didn’t bring anyone to my wedding because I don’t see her current boyfriend as permanent or serious, but she thinks he is and it would have caused a huge ordeal if I didn’t let him come when I gave others plus ones. I didn’t have him in family pictures, so if/when they break up that won’t be an issue.
Post # 9
It seems pretty devided like I am.
I’m not happy with either of them. But if they end up getting married at some point, it would be pretty bad that she wasn’t invited. I don’t see myself being friends with this woman but I’ve been on the other end of sister in law drama. I wasn’t the drama one but my other brother was married to a cheater and she was bad. I had to be the one to tell my brother because no one else could. She became abusive toward their children and used them against us so we had to suck up to her if we wanted to ever see them. Thankfully my brother got custody of the children and we don’t have to deal with that woman any more and I don’t want to have to go through that again. It’s his life though I guess he can choose who he wants.
My side of the family has got so much drama. My aunt wants to go but she’s not invited. But of course my grandmother is. My aunt is one year older than me and I have a strong feeling my aunt is going to try to show up even though she’s not invited. And my Grandma will tell her where and when it is. She’s not invited for her own drama. She screwed me and my FI over hard core a couple years back.
My uncles are all drama with their drinking problems and my dad with his extreme religious beliefs and drug use. It’s hard to pick who is invited and who isn’t.
My fiances family are all drama free for the most part and have their acts together. One of the things I guess when you marry someone not in your “social class” or whatever it’s called. I stick out of my family like a sore thumb since I’m so “straight edge” and responsible so it’s a good fit into my fiances family but my family is just all over the place
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think you just have to invite him with a +1, and it will probably be her. I would warn your brother that you don’t want any drama at the wedding, though
Post # 11
You have to invite her. She is your brothers “gf” and it would strictly be for his sake. Dont invite her kids though. I wouldnt…. I dont think
Post # 12
I would give him a +1, since everyone is getting one, and hopefully she doesn’t show (once again) !
Post # 13
That’s his girlfriend regardless of how you feel about her. You do the right thing and invite or YOU will be the one who looks bad
Post # 14
Give him a plus one, assign your family to defuse any drama that happens, and figure that you won’t even see them that much on the day.
Also: BIG HUGS to you, lady — sibling drama is the freaking worst. I won’t get into it, but I also had to navigate some sib drama surrounding the day. The good thing was that my parents had my back 100%, and I knew it would be fine.
Post # 15
It’s your brother and if everyone else get a +1 than I think he should be able to also. If none of the family has met her yet, you don’t know how they will act around others. If she hasn’t met the family because she feels awkward maybe she won’t even show up with him at your wedding. You are his family. I think he informs you the issues they have because you are family and thats what we do. We confide in people close to us.
Post # 16
I have the exact same thing with my brothers GF, military & all. He was married with one son, then they got divorced because my exSIL was a freak, but I’m kind of biased. ANyways, he’s dating the same girl he dated throughout hs (he’s 26) and she is a nightmare!!!!!!!! Trashy, foul mouthed, a drunk, just gross. Everytime he brings her around, everyone goes to another room because we can’t stand her. My mom confronted him about her and he said we are all making things up. They say disgusting things on fb to each other and post gross pictures, and I know my ex SIL can see it all..and I JUST know she is going to take it all to court.
Well for Christmas i was in amarillo with my FI and his family & my brother calls me at 2am asking me to come to HOUSTON to pick him up because he got in a BAR FIGHT. I called my dad and come to find out (per my brother) his awful GF told some guy that my brother beats her!!!!! So this guy came to the bar and beat the crap out of my brother and my brother is a big guy. I felt terrible and my brother said he was done with this girl & moved back home…for 3 days… My dad went to his gf’s apartment and got all of his things, but then my brother turned right around and moved back in with her. She told someone my brother BEATS her! And he took her back, I don’t understand it. Anyways- he’s the same way, saying everyone is going to love her…But I don’t want her getting trashed at the wedding and causing a scene like I know she will. So.. I’m NOT inviting her. 🙂
Hope this helps, just know that I am in the exact same boat!