(Closed) Major Problem, Need advice!

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: What should I do?
    Stay with the original plan and shell out the big bucks : (0 votes)
    Invite everyone I sent a STD to and have a champagne/dessert reception instead of dinner : (14 votes)
    100 %
    Only send invites to very close family and friends (i.e. cut the guest list in half) : (0 votes)
    I have a better option (see below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Not really. You need to invite anyone that you sent an STD to.

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    18646 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Yeah I think you have to send an invite to anyone who you sent a STD to.  Do you think all these people are going to attend?  We invited 100 and got 30.  I would not let her increase the guest list anymore since YOU are the one paying, not her.  Are there any other ways that you can cut costs?  Maybe a punch and cake reception instead of a full dinner?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1956 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

    Unfortunately, it’s really really rude to send a Save The Date and not follow up with an invitation…However, if they’re people you do not care about at all, then I guess you could do it but I wouldn’t recommend it…

    But like Miss ASB said, even if you invite 100 people, you will probably only end up with 75…

    Post # 6
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Are you & your FI paying for the wedding yourselves? Or is your mom helping too?

    If you are paying for the wedding yourself, that you’ve got to be open & honest with your mom.

    We payed for most of the wedding ourselves and we told our families that they could only invite their siblings and a certain # of their friends. Yes, it was blunt, but we would rather pay for our friends to be there, then our parents. ESP, when we were paying for it, not our parents!

    EDIT: I actually re-read your post and have another ques. You said orginially you invited 100 and your mom keeps adding more, so is the count now over 100?

    Post # 7
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Hi! So sorry you’re going through this. It’s never easy to deal with family members who insist on adding people to your guest list. The thing is, you cannot refrain from sending invitations to people whom you’ve already sent save-the-dates to. It’s just impolite. I would suggest opting for a cocktail reception, where guests move around from food station to food station, as opposed to having a traditional sit-down dinner. This will lower your catering costs. You can also omit alcohol from the party. There are many ways that you can still have a 100-guest wedding without breaking the bank. Good luck!

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    if you sent the STDs you have to invite the people. cut costs some other way…like by making it more casual, not having favors, etc…

    Post # 10
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    It seems like you should get the final word on the guest list if you guys are paying for it. If your mom wants to add a ton of people then she needs to be helping pay for the event.

    Perhaps you can do something very low-key. Just do punch and cake and call it day. You don’t have to go all out but I think if you sent save the dates then people are expecting an invitation. Plus that way you can still have your dinner later without having to invite everyone who is invited to the wedding.

    Your only other option would be to elope – which you could totally do since you haven’t sent out invites and then just send an announcement saying “We couldn’t wait!”

    Post # 11
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Okay, then def approach your mom about the extra 20 people. Since you are paying for the wedding, you have every right to say “sorry we can’t afford these extra 20 people” just stick your ground! Its your money!

    Stick to your 100 people budget, if it financially worked for you in the beginning, then it will all work out for you in the end 🙂

    The topic ‘Major Problem, Need advice!’ is closed to new replies.

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