Post # 1
I wasn’t quite sure where to turn to with this issue, but I’m thinking that weddingbee will be the perfect place to get some perspective on this issue and hopefully realize the “big picture” here.
Okay, so we thought about hiring a videographer for our wedding last year, but after we looked at the going rate, we realized we absolutely could not afford one. Because the prices were so high, I didn’t give it a second thought. BUT with all the hoopla surrounding our wedding, I didn’t even think to have someone tape any part of our wedding! Looking back on our extremely catholic ceremony that we put together ourselves, I become so sad thinking that I will never again get to hear the beautiful song sung during communion, or see myself walking down the aisle with my father. Yes, I have the pictures, but whenever I think about the fact that I have no video, it really ruins my day. I end up ruminating about it and become so sad that I didn’t even think to ask ANYONE to tape any part of our special day. And of course, it spirals when I think about it because then I think to myself, great, now our kids won’t be able to watch our special day and it spirals downward. I clearly didn’t realize how important video was to our wedding until the day passed, and now I find myself ruminating about it.
Did any of you have a similar situation? How did you get over it? We have some wonderful photography from the day, but I just keep thinking to myself If only we had video…..Anyone have some perspective on this?
Post # 3
It could be better b/c it is exactly how your remember it in your own head… and sometimes that’s nicer. The video doesn’t capture how you are feeling or certain ways that you remember special parts of the day. My parents don’t have any video from their day, nor do my grandparents and I still love to look at the pictures and hear it in their own words funny things that happened. We aren’t having a videographer and I’m unsure about someone asking someone to video tape anything. I kind of would like to have the day from my own perspective. I hope that this helps!!
Post # 4
Well, I think I would be relieved – what if you didn’t like the way you looked in the video? What if it isn’t as amazing as your memories? There’s also a really good chance that your kids won’t really care to watch your wedding. Most kids find that pretty boring, unless they are girls fantasizing about their own wedding ;-P
Post # 5
I too did not have any video at all. I was really upset about it at one point. ESpecially because we actually brought a video camera down but literally just forgot to ask a relative to record it! There isnt anything you can do about it now. Just look at the pictures as much as possible. Close your eyes and try to remember how you were feeling and what it was like. Maybe make a slideshow of pictures? I have also re-read our ceremony a few times just to remember the words that we said. Maybe do a vow renewal for your one year anniversary or a few years down the road and have someone videotape that?
Post # 6
@lsaunde: ah man. I am getting married in a cathedral where they don’t allow anyone to film anything accept a professional. In one area of the whole church. I really wanted a videographer but a lot of expenses came up so we just could not do it.
for some reason, I think having a videographer seems nicer than it actually is…I wouldn’t want the videographer to capture things they make me cringe rather than cry…
Post # 7
Can I suggest you write down somewhere like a story book of everything (harps playing, your favorite niece skipping as you say your vows…along with photos of that day) so that you can show it to your kids and grandkids. THey might not hear it..but when reading your descriptions, they can still feel like they are there that day..that’s what I would do.
Post # 8
I think not having a tape can be a great way for you to preserve the memories of that day the way you remember it… your DH will have his own memories, so will your parents, BP, anyone who was there. Videography has only been a popular option for maybe 30-40 years or something like that, so 99% of the world’s weddings have not beed videotaped.
I personally love hearing my grandparents tell the story of their wedding day — I feel like I was there and they didn’t even have pictures taken! It’s ok to be sad, but remember, even the best videographer cannot capture every moment… the most important ones are the ones you and your DH remember best.
Post # 9
@lsaunde: i was just telling my mother in law this over the weekend – im fortunate to have a few (flip) videos of our reception that someone was kind enough to capture but i def regret not getting a videographer for my ceremony. i tell this to every bride that i encounter and i hope i can help someone else out since i obviously cant go back and change it.
Post # 10
Yah, my FI and mom both work in video/broadcast and as a result are completely opposed to taking videos of “real life” events…haha. I can see their point in that the camera-recorded result rarely matches up to the memories you have. Especially if you wouldn’t have had a pro doing it (potential for bad sound, bumpy camera, etc). Here’s a quote I read earlier today–“Memories are the only thing you really own. Everything else is ephemeral.” I bet that down the road, your kids would prefer you telling the story of your wedding to watching it on DVD (or whatever it is we have in the future…)! And you will love to tell the story too 🙂
Post # 11
If it makes you feel any better it was like pulling teeth to get ANYONE to watch my wedding video and even my DH didn’t want to see himself on film after the fact. Some events are just private and best remembered through memory or a classy photo. Don’t feel bad!
Post # 12
Wow, you all have had such amazing, thoughtful, and just plain great suggestions and thoughts to share! Thank you so much for helping me. I was afraid that I might get a “quit crying and grow up already!” Instead, I got some really good insight. I really can’t thank you all enough for your encouraging words. I definitely do feel better, and I absolutely now plan to remember our ceremony in other special ways, like making a scrapbook and reading our program together and maybe even doing a very small ceremony of our own on our anniversary. It really put things into perspective for me to read that, even if I HAD video, it wouldn’t capture the moments that I remember in the way I remember them. Having video may have even tainted my memory! Instead, now I have pure memories of how wonderful everything was, and I can journal how I remember it so it stays that special. This website is such an amazing tool, whether we’re posting things to sell, asking for advice, or just needing a place to vent and be understood 🙂
Many Thanks, Hive!
Post # 13
Hm, well my perspective is that my parents don’t have a wedding video… and I’m fine with not watching their wedding. I love the posed pictures and that’s enough for me. I also hate watching videos, so that makes my opinion biased 🙂 We’re not having a video of our wedding and I don’t think I’ll regret it (for the same reasons).
I’m not sure how you can get over it though, since you really want it now. I guess just tell yourself, the moment has passed and there is no way to get back. That sucks I know 🙁
Maybe you can get yourself an awesome wedding album that tells its own story. It won’t be in motion, but it can somehow relate the details in a simila and awesome way!
Post # 14
I totally agree. Sometimes pictures are enough.