MAJOR WEDDING GUEST DILEMMA

posted 5 months ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
312 posts
Helper bee

I think you should just be upfront and let her know that. Even in a nice way, I’m sure she’d understand. At least she told you in advance so you could prevent it from happening! At my wedding a guest brought her 2 nephews, in the recieiving I was like ‘uhh who are they??’ but…lol our reception went on

Post # 17
Member
5013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

GNW :  The cost shouldn’t be a factor though since you were already planning on paying for 2 people anyway, right? I get what you’re saying but I’d just let her bring the sister. If you are right and she is currently going through marriage troubles, maybe she doesn’t want to be alone. Especially for a wedding when her marriage might be ending. Just something to think about. 

Post # 18
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

GNW :  I dont see the big deal about her bringing her sister if you were already planning on paying for two people? If her marriage isnt going so well and she doesnt want to be alone at a wedding… thousands of miles away from home? Like when a woman having fertility issues has to attend a baby shower…. IT SUCKS. This friend is obviously important to you since she was invited to this intimate affair, so itsnt the most important thing that she attends and is happy, and god forbid have some support? I think you are being pretty hard on your friend. 

Post # 19
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

I think it would be kind to let the sister come, but you certainly don’t have to. Yes, the OP has already accounted for the cost of her friend’s sister, but she gets to decide who her wedding guests are, not her friend.  I am surprised by how many people think traveling alone, even overseas, would be so awful. To the question of what she would do in her spare time without a companion, how about sightsee, go to museums, restaurants, cafes, shops, historic momuments? Is this so impossible or distasteful to do without a companion? I understand that some people don’t prefer to travel alone, but it’s not something so strange or unusual that it would be unthinkable to expect a friend to do so.

Post # 20
Member
2804 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

GNW :  Have you even thought to ask her how she’s doing? If this happened with one of my nearest and dearest, my first thought would be to wonder why her husband wasn’t going & to ask my friend if they were ok. 

Post # 21
Member
3784 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

While it was rude of her to switch out the guests, I don’t see this is a MAJOR DILEMMA at all lol.

You were planning on paying for 2. She is probably going through a rough time. I’m going to assume they’re staying in the same room. It’s not going to cost you any extra, except yes, you’ll have a new face at the wedding.

I’d probably let it go, but you are technically within reason to tell her “sorry, but the invitation was for you and husband. We are not able to accomodate sister. We understand if that means you wont be able to make it. Please let me know by Friday if you’re able to come.”

But seriously, how early are those rsvps sheesh.

Post # 22
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It sounds like an all-inclusive deal, being that you’re paying for meals, hotel rooms and day of entertainment. Plus, I’m assuming gifts don’t fly well. Can your friend bring me? I’d love a vaca. 

Personally, I think you should tell your friend that you’d rather she not bring her sister. Because you and your fiancé are paying a hefty amount to provide/share this experience with those who mean the most, you want an intimate affair. After all, it’s your day! If having her there makes you unhappy, you don’t have to justify anything. 

Post # 23
Member
2993 posts
Sugar bee

GNW :  Well, what’s more important to you? Having your friend there or not having her there? If the whole bringing the sister thing really bothers you, tell her sorry, I only want people I know there because it’s an intimate affair and if you are unable to travel alone, I understand if you can’t make it… Or something along those lines.

Post # 24
Member
563 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s crappy to not let guests bring a plus one to a destination wedding. You don’t want to spend time with someone you don’t know, but even at a 30 person wedding you will end up spending like 10 minutes with each guest. And what would you have done if she had a husband who you didn’t know very well or had only met a few times – not invite him either? I doubt it, you would have invited him. I have plenty of friends who for a variety of reasons I rarely if ever spend time with their partners. 

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