Post # 1
My bridesmaids are all across the country; my maid of honor is a 6 hour flight, my girlfriend is a 3 hour flight and my sister is a 2 hour ferry ride. I really want to have all the wedding events I have always looked forward to; a bachelorette party, a wedding shower, a rehearsal dinner… but i feel so guilty making my bridesmaids travel. We live in Canada so flights are not cheap at all and driving is out of the question. I don’t have a ton of friends where I live and I don’t think I have anyone here that would throw these parties for me.
Any bees out there in the same situation?
Post # 3
I had my bridal shower in my hometown and had my bachelorette party where my BMs lived. Could you possibly split up everything?
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
I have 2 bridesmaids out of 4 that are long distance. One is a 2 hour flight and the other is a 1 1/2 hour flight. I’m going to try and pitch in to help with their travel costs since I know they don’t have money to just throw away on travel.
Post # 5
I don’t have that situation, but I had a friend in college who had a similar one. She had 1 bridesmaid and the MOH living in the town where we went to college, she had moved to Texas, and had 2 other bridesmaids in other countries (transatlantic flights) altogether.
When she was visiting the college area, we had a bridal shower/bachelorette combination to make it easier on everyone. The girls who were abroad didn’t make it, but they sent gifts and funny notes to be read for them. It actually worked out pretty well. I would try to do it in the area where you have the most friends/family and you can travel there.
I don’t think the rehersal dinner should be a problem at all. They’re typically the night before the wedding, so they would just be booking a flight a day earlier.
Post # 6
I will only have 1 potentially 2 BMs in the same city that time of the year. But they are all still planning it like they are so excited, so I don’t really know, I’m sure it’s fine! If they agreed to be in your BP, they knew kind of what responsibilities came along with it. They’ll make time for the things that they want to do!
Post # 7
I have 2 BM’s in NL and 2 in BM and I live in ON. I’m hoping that my BM’s will be able to get into town a couple days before my wedding and we will have a ‘classy’ bachelorette party on the Thursday before the wedding. I want to treat them to mani/pedi’s & a spa afternoon, then I’m hoping to go for dinner and drinks – something fairly low key. As far as a shower, I’m hoping to go home to NL in the spring so my sister (MOH) and BM can throw me a shower – the shower won’t be overly large as we’re having a small wedding and my friends are all over the place but my family and a couple friends will be there. I mostly just want a reason to get together to celebrate that I’m getting married – don’t even need the presents 🙂
Post # 8
I was a bridesmaid in this position and it worked out for us. I came into town for a week before the wedding, and we had the bachelorette the weekend before, the rehearsal and dinner the night before, and then the wedding. The bride didn’t want a shower, but I would have tried to come out for a separate trip if she had. I was sad to miss the dress shopping, but I was able to do helpful things from afar.
Post # 9
@DoctorAndDoctor: Thank you for this, it helps to hear an opinion from the bridesmaids point of view! Doesn’t make me feel as guilty as I did before.
@MsGinkgo: i feel the same way; I don’t want a shower for gifts, especially if it is two days before the wedding, I just want to spend time with my bridesmaids and family when I am not stressed out on my wedding day!
Post # 10
Yep, I’m in this position. I have just two close girlfriends, they are both bridesmaids, and they both live several hours away. They can’t afford several trips out to see me, I can’t afford trips to go to them, so I am just going without all the “normal” pre-wedding events. I am having the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner the evening before the wedding so I am sure they will make it to those. And I was thinking that prior to the rehearsal and RD we could go get our nails done and have a little spa day and that would be the bachelorette.
Post # 11
Yep, only 1 of my 6 bridesmaids live near me. I live in California, my wedding is in Illinois. 2 of my BMs are in California, 2 in Illinois, 2 in New York.
We’re having the bachelorette party in California because I have non-BM friends here. And since most of my BMs haven’t visited me here yet, 5 out of 6 of them are actually attending my bachelorette party! I was very pleasantly surprised by that.
We’re having the bridal shower a week before the wedding in Illinois. 3 of my 6 BMs will be there, which is super sweet.
I had very low expectations of people, even my bridesmaids, so I’m really happy everytime someone says they can actually come to something! Low expectations seem to be key for stress-free wedding planning 😉
Post # 12
I was in that position. I live in Victoria, was having my wedding in St. John’s. One BM lived there, the others were in Halifax, Winnipeg, and Fort MacMurray. I wished I could have had the traditional sort of planning and lead up with all the girls there but oh well. I had the shower the Sunday before the weddings (the following Saturday), and bachelorette the Wednesday before the wedding, and the rehearsal two days before.
Post # 13
That happened to me, that two of my bridesmaids were out of town. They weren’t able to attend my bridal shower or bachelorette party.. But they came down early the week of the wedding to spend some time together. I understood because I agree, its too expensive to fly here. They missed out on the dress shopping and fittings too but it all worked out 🙂
Post # 14
How about having the bachelorette party really close to your wedding? So if it’s a Saturday wedding, have the bachelorette on the Thursday night and the rehearsal on the Friday night.
I do kind of think it’s unreasonable to expect girls to travel long distances just for a party.
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada
I have a very similar situation actually. my wedding is in Ontario, I and one of my BMs live in England, my sister who is my MOH lives in Sweden and my last BM is in Ontario so it does complicate things. I am having one bachelorette party in the UK (Hen party as we call it) with my European friends, then I am having a shower and bachelorette in Toronto the week before the wedding where both Canadian friends, family and OOT guests can attend. I think it will work out great as a lot of my friends who can’t make it to our wedding are still coming to my UK party to celebrate.
Post # 16
@paula1248: I agree. You can’t expect or “make” them travel that many times. I’m sure no one was thinking of the cost of a minimum of 3 trips to you PLUS all the other expenses they will incur. If they can make it great! If not, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it means they have lives and bills to pay.